our life through my eyes

payton and the wii

2011-12-21T12:18:00.002-06:00

the past couple of days payton has been playing the wii, and since i've been confined to the couch recovering i've really watched him. he has been cracking me up. it's come battling game on wii sports. he gets in his sumo wrestler stance, feet apart, knees bent, squatting down. then he takes the wii remote and swings it like it's a sword. swinging it wildly around like a crazy person. that is funny enough as it is, but the things he says are even better.

i'm going to defeat you. (remember he's 5)

take that!

i don't care if i die, i care if i beat him.

then after he had played for a while and his face was red from the workout, he comes up to me and says, "my hair is wet. it's like i took a bath with all my clothes on." and he had worked out. maybe i should play that game.

tara

thankful: day 30

2011-12-01T23:52:00.001-06:00

i am thankful that i did the 30 days of thanksgiving. all though i was not good about getting things posted on their day i did spend several times thinking about what i was thankful for. it was a good exercise for me. i have many blessings and like so many others i get caught up in the "wish i had's" or the "everyone else gets to's". it was a valuable lesson for me to learn. to take time each day and think about what i was blessed with that day. the first days were gimme days: God, lee, the boys, friends..., but as the first week passed i thought maybe i can't do this. it was a struggle for me to think about something on some of those days. but, then one day came and i could come up with 2 things. it's like when you make a list of all the negative things about yourself, the list is a mile long. then, when asked to make a list of all the positive things it takes you longer to get going. but really once you get going you start to see the positive about yourself. this exercise was that same thing. i got to the point where i would think about things i was thankful for several times throughout the day. now, if i could just do this same exercise with other areas of my life.

tara

thankful: day 29

2011-12-01T23:47:00.001-06:00

i am thankful that lee and i are on the same page parenting-wise. for all the big things we agree on how we want them done. we don't fight about which way to do things when it comes to our kids and how we want to raise them. it's funny how this has worked because we come from different places. some of the core is the same but for the most part our lives have been very different. it makes things run so smoothly when we both agree and i am thankful for our similar parenting styles.

tara

thankful: day 28

2011-11-28T23:49:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for my cub scout den. i have 19 second graders. and while at times it seems like there are 119 second graders, i wouldn't trade them for anything. they WANT to please me. some days i have to remind them of that and some times it seems like i have to do it every 5 minutes, but they refocus and we get to work. they work hard and are always eager to answer questions. they want to do the fun stuff, so they will do the not so fun stuff. this is my second year with them and i am thankful that all 12 from last year came back and my 7 new guys seem just as eager to come each week. i am thankful for their parents and that they bring them to me each week. it takes a community to raise a child and i am thankful that so many parents have entrusted me to be part of their community.

tara

thankful: day 27

2011-11-28T23:35:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for my faith. there are some things that have happened in my life and i could not get through them without my faith. i lean on God for the strength that i don't have.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Phil 4:13

my faith has kept me moving, not always forward, but at least i was moving. i read this once: i can't prove God exists, but you can't prove He doesn't. i am glad i believe in Him. i would hate to go through life and this be all there is. all the people you meet you will never see again. i am grateful He has given me peace knowing some of my biggest losses are not permanent. i believe in God: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and i lean on all 3.

tara

thankful: day 26

2011-11-28T23:31:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for a family day. we spent the day in amarillo. we started at the movies and saw arthur christmas, which the boys and i loved. after that the boys wanted to go to barnes and noble. payton had earned five bucks and chose to get a book from barnes and noble. i am also thankful that my boys like to spend their own money on books. after barnes and noble we stopped at game stop to check things out for christmas lists. with our final stop at chili's for a wonderful dinner. i am thankful we enjoy spending time together.

tara

thankful: day 25

2011-11-28T23:27:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for breakfast in bed. lee cooked breakfast, so when i went into the kitchen payton looked at me and told me to go back to bed. lee told me no. payton said it again and wanted me to go back to bed. lee finally gave in so off to bed i went. payton came into the room and told me i had to go back to sleep so when he brought me my breakfast he would find a place to set it down and turn on the light. then he would set it in front of me after he woke me up. i am thankful that payton has such a wonderful imagination and that he has the whole scenario in his head a tries so hard to have it play out that way.

tara

thankful: day 24

2011-11-24T20:05:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for a day full of blessings. a loving Father, my freedom, spending time with lee's side of the family, great food, my husband, my children, watching my boys spend time with their cousins, having their cousins spend the night reminding me of the many times i did that as a child. the list could go on because i am one blessed girl. happy thanksgiving everyone!

tara

thankful: day 23

2011-11-24T20:04:00.001-06:00

i am thankful that the boys let me sleep in..... kinda. it was nice to not have to be any where at any specific time.

tara

thankful: day 22

2011-11-22T19:31:00.001-06:00

today i am thankful for all the tubs of clothes i have for the boys. right now i have a tub of clothes in all sizes 6 months to size 8-10. well for boys anyway. there is not telling how much money we have saved by keeping our tubs. i have clothes that baylee wore when he was an infant and those same clothes kayson is wearing. having a larger family means you make sacrifices. i wear clothes that i have had well over 5 years and the boys wear hand me downs. no one is any worse off for it. and the funny thing is when you have 4 boys everyone must feel sorry for the baby because you get one of two gifts: diapers or clothes. so kayson has had his fair share of new clothes. the only downside to my tubs is making sure there is something different worn for pictures. that way it doesn't seem like you dress your kids in the same things.

oh, and i'm also thankful that i am getting rid of my tubs. as soon as kayson outgrows them they are out of here.

tara

thankful: day 21

2011-11-21T22:21:00.001-06:00

today i am thankful for 2 things.

first, i am thankful that even though the volume on my phone was turned all the way down i still heard it vibrating on the table. how i don't know because i sleep through everything! and it was only going off for a minute before i woke up. it's a thanksgiving miracle. lee had to go to san antonio today and left around 4 this morning so i had to get up and get the boys to school, but usually i have lee moving around in the room as my warning that it's time to get up. so i am thankful that i heard that phone.

secondly, i am thankful for the muirs that live down the street. scouts is on mondays and with lee being gone i needed someone to watch kayson. i asked katie after school and she said she'd love to. when i dropped him off i surprised them with payton as well. katie wasn't there but the doug and casey were. they were just as excited to keep him as katie was. katie kept him several times during the summer when i took the other boys to the pool. doug has kept him once. and they all seem to come around when kayson is there. it is such a wonderful thing to be able to leave him somewhere and know that he is as loved there as he is at home. kayson is so blessed to have them in his short life. i am blessed they are around and want to keep my baby. i am glad they are part of the village raising my boys.

tara

thankful: day 20

2011-11-20T14:21:00.001-06:00

i am thankful that will all the changes to the mass, my kiddos are young. in fact, baylee really is the only one that has learned the existing mass to any extent. so i am grateful that i only have to change one of them, the rest will have to learn it as we all do. some of these changes are good and do make sense, others seem unnecessary. i'm sure they are changes for the better, but their purpose isn't crystal clear. but, change is good and being able to adapt to new situations is a wonderful characteristic to have.

tara

thankful: day 19

2011-11-20T14:11:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for the organizations the boys are involved in. baylee is in 4h and cub scouts, and tayte is in cub scouts. both organizations help teach the boys the value of being a positive part of society. i believe it takes a village to raise a child and i want to make sure that the village my boys are part of contains a range of positive influences. i want them to see there is more to life than sports. i was an athlete in school so i'm not bashing sports. sports are part of the extra things the boys do, i just want the to be well rounded and have lots of pieces to the puzzle that makes them, them. as an adult leader in scouts i now get to see it from a different perspective. i am seeing how the different things we do come together to show these boys to honor and respect God, their country, and themselves.

tara

thankful: day 18

2011-11-20T14:03:00.001-06:00

i am thankful that my children are not picky eaters. they will try almost anything i put in front of them. they rarely complain about what is cooked. plus they are really healthy eaters. they don't really care for a lot of fried greasy food. i am thankful that they will eat fruits and vegetables, and lately they don't have to be covered with ranch.

tara

thankful: day 17

2011-11-17T22:09:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for the great insurance we have had. i never really realized how great our insurance was until we had to look at the options for next year. there are major changes to the insurance lee has had at the bank for the last 11 years. our premiums are maybe high, i think, but i don't really have much to compare it too. we pay about $400 a month but that's for a family of 6 so to me it's not too bad. it starts day one paying 80% on all claims, 100% on preventative care visits. and after reaching a $5,000 deductible for the family (i'm not sure what the individual deductible is) it's covered 100%. well...i have had a baby by c-section: which leads to a higher service and longer hospital stay. tayte has had an overnight stay in the pedi-icu, 2 mris, 2 eegs, 1 cat scan, 1 mra, 1 emergency room visit, and 1 ambulance ride. plus we put tayte in speech and occupational therapy this summer. and we have YET to meet our deductible. and now i have to have an umbilical hernia repaired and probably still will not meet the deductible. so next year someone please remind me that i need to be thankful for any insurance that we have because not everyone has it.

tara

thankful: day 16

2011-11-16T22:12:00.001-06:00

i am thankful that we decided to pray each night as a family. i say each night, but it really ends up being most nights. we try hard to do it every night, but sometimes life gets in the way. i know it shouldn't but, that's a whole other subject. so i am thankful we pray as a family. it has taken a while to get the boys to open up and pray, but now that they do they ask God for some of the sweetest, most amazing things.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." matthew 7:7

the door has been opened for me and these prayers give me an insight into their thinking that few things do. to listen to them all thank God for their brothers, to ask Him to protect their brothers, shows the love they have for them. if it wasn't for those nightly prayers i wouldn't get to hear those things. and even though they are great kids, they don't always show just how much they love each other. God is doing wonderful things through them and i get to watch.

tara

thankful: day 15

2011-11-15T22:04:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for the home we have. even when we bought it, it wasn't the house i wanted. but, it was the first house that lee wanted and i could live with. we have been here for almost 10 years and we have made it a home. it isn't huge and the boys share rooms, in fact until just recently all the boys shared one room. it keeps us warm in the winter, cool in the summer and full of love. we have a table full of food every night. we have many things we are blessed with and much to be thankful for. i am thankful we have made this house a home.

tara

thankful: day 14

2011-11-15T21:26:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for the bible study group i'm in and for the renew group that just ended. i have been wanting to grow in my religious knowledge and these two groups have been a great way to do that. i have learned so much from both of these groups and am grateful. many times people ask me questions, especially my own children. it seems that for some of them if i knew the answer i have forgotten it. and, i guess because of my age i want to be able to answer them and know that i can't use the excuse that i didn't ever learn it for long. i have to take my education into my own hands. and with these two groups i am doing just that.

tara

thankful: day 13

2011-11-13T22:16:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for dr. pepper and the individual who invented it. i have one almost daily and need it some days to get my day going.

tara

thankful: day 12

2011-11-13T22:10:00.001-06:00

i'm thankful that my children truly love each other. i see other kids around their siblings and the way they fight or talk to each other. it really makes me sad. my boys do fuss with each other and have had their fair share of fights, but not like some of these kids. i am so blessed to have boys that love each other and don't mind hugging and kissing each other in front of other people. of all the things this is my proudest parenting achievement.

tara

thankful: day 11

2011-11-11T17:13:00.001-06:00

i am thankful today and everyday for our veterans. i will never comprehend their selflessness. i understand the desire to do anything to keep my loved ones safe, but i don't have that same feeling for complete strangers. to choose to be in harm's way so someone i don't know can go about their life and make any choice they wish is beyond my understanding. and for many of those people to only think about soldiers one day a year. veterans are AMAZING people. and for their sacrifices i am thankful.

i am also thankful for their families. they sacrifice so much too. to send a loved one away into harm's way and to then have to worry about them because they won't hear from them for periods of time.

i am also thankful that the boys go to school where they do. every year there is a program that honors our local veterans. kindergarten through fifth grade sing several songs. all of which are so danged good. junior high kids do a flag show and the high school band plays a couple songs. i love the song the band plays which is a medley of all branches songs. then when a veteran's song plays they stand and get an applause. names of all the veterans from the county that were killed in combat are called out. and all veterans who are present have their names called and the branch they served. i tear up at that part every time. i am glad this is done because it instills a sense of pride and teaches kids how to show honor to these individuals. i had a few friends who grew up here mention that they have the respect for veterans that they do because of the school doing this.

it seems so inadequate, but THANK YOU VETERANS!
tara

thankful: day 10

2011-11-11T17:04:00.001-06:00

it seems i have issues and can't seem to get all of my days posted on the day. oh well, better late than never, right?

i am thankful for the opportunity to pay it forward. every time i had a baby i would always have several people bring dinner over for my family. it was such a Godsend for someone to take time out of their busy life to bless me and my family. i would appreciate a warm home cooked meal that i didn't have to prepare so much. there recently has been a family that i have been able to use to pay it forward. i am glad that we are able to bless this family like we have been so many times. i ran into one of the girls and she told me how much she loved the food, which just made my day. i think it was so good because while i was making it i was praying for healing for this mother and comfort for the family. so it was not only made with love, but prayer.

tara

thankful: day 9

2011-11-09T23:49:00.001-06:00

i am thankful for my life and my birthday. i have had so many people wish me well wishes today that i am truly overwhelmed. my day has been perfect! nothing extravagant, but absolutely perfect. to start the day i had my 4 favorite boys wake me up and be the first ones to wish me happy birthday. i love when they are the first ones. i got a homemade card shaped like a heart, the rest of the paper that the heart was cut out of, and a store bought card wishing me a happy 7th birthday with 2 of tayte's friends' names in it. "because payton wanted to give you that one." so i am 7 with 4 boys, one of which is 10. don't do the math on that one, it's kind of embarrassing. then after kayson decided he was not going to go back to sleep and was fussy, i got up to start the day. the next time someone sends my infant a memo about not being fussy and sleeping in on mommy's birthday please read it to him! i went to amarillo for my bible study which was a great way to get my day in gear, starting with learning more about God's plan for people! had lunch with lee and some good conversation. came home tried to sneak in a nap, but kayson foiled that plan too. got all my kids and the extras i pick up where they needed to be. went back to amarillo for guitar and gymnastics. got whataburger for dinner-my favorite fast food joint. then it was hot tub time with some girl friends. so i didn't get my 5 minutes of alone time, but i did get 3 hours of girl time which is so much better. read over 100 messages on facebook throughout the day. and the last few i got had some typos, so it makes me wonder if they were having hot tub time of their own. :p 34 is starting out pretty dang good.

tara

p.s. for a few years i had the before my birthday curse. during those years something bad always happened sometime during the week before my birthday. for the last 2 years it hasn't happened so i think the curse has ended. and for that i am eternally grateful!

thankful: day 8

2011-11-08T20:52:00.002-06:00

i am thankful for the small town we live in. small towns are the best for raising kids. there are more freedoms. there is less violence. small town values are the best too. for the most part everyone has similar ideas on how things should work. you know almost everyone or at least recognize them and if you don't know them someone within earshot does. i firmly believe it takes a community to raise a child. i am glad we have chosen this community. lee and i do a lot with the kids of this community and i am glad that people show that we are appreciated.

small towns are great when things are going well, but they are also amazing when you are in a dark place. four years ago when i lost my dad i couldn't go anywhere without someone letting me know they were thinking about me and praying for peace and comfort.

in many, many, many years when lee and i are home alone without any kids i hope we still think small towns are the best.

tara

thankful: day 7

2011-11-08T20:40:00.002-06:00

even though i didn't post this yesterday i thought about them all day. i knew what i was thankful for just didn't have or take the time to post it. i am thankful for my friends. i have been blessed with many friends. some friends are closer than others. i have several groups that fill different needs for me. and all of them are special to me. i need to talk: shocking i know. God has blessed me with friends who will lend an ear. some even come to me for advice, crazy but true! without these relationships i would suffer greatly. over the last few years i have needed these friends and without always being a great friend in return they were there for me no questions asked. i thank them for that. my best friend, sheryl, lets me say whatever i need to say and never thinks poorly of me. we don't get to see each other as much as we did but we always pick up right where we left off. i am most grateful for her.

tara

thankful: day 6

2011-11-06T20:05:00.000-06:00

i am thankful for my church. i have been to many churches in my life, but only one other comes close to having the same tight knit feeling i get from this one. maybe it's because so many of them are related....or, maybe it's because so many of them have a strong faith....whatever the reason i am blessed to be a part of this parish. today we had a potluck lunch. an elderly lady asked if she could sit at the table lee, some of the boys and i were sitting at. she said it had been a long time since she had sat with so many "young uns." i am glad she sat with us. i know her from seeing her at church, but we haven't ever really talked. just some polite small talk. she mentioned that she knew lee's granddad howard, so she knew lee from that. but....the best thing was she knew MY grandmother. louise elliott. she started telling me about my grandma when she was younger.

...she was a beautiful woman. she had dark hair and wore it wavy. she was a beautiful dancer, she was so talented. she was so thin...well she gained weight but not until she was much older. and she was popular.

i am so blessed to hear that. i am thankful to have heard this bit about my grandma...all because of the awesome church i go to. i have been blessed because of how this church has helped me grow in my faith. i am thankful for being led to this church, because it made lee feel at home too.

tara

thankful: day 5

2011-11-05T23:51:00.000-05:00

i am thankful for my family, especially those i spent the evening with. even though i don't have a relationship with some i am still thankful. because if not for them and the experiences i have had i would not be who i am today.

tara

thankful: day 4

2011-11-04T22:36:00.001-05:00

i am thankful that my boys go to a school that they love. we never have the fight over going to school...how many days left...do i have too? i think the things they love the most are the teachers. they hug their teachers past and present. the teachers know them by name. and the best part for me is that when we say our nightly prayers one of the boys thanks God for his teachers and school almost every night. someone is doing something right for him to be grateful for them. the teachers go out of their way to tell me things the boys have done, or how great they are. for my boys to be a part of a school where they are loved is a wonderful thing...maybe that's why i haven't ever cried when i sent one of them to school. i know they will be in great hands until i pick them up. except that one time tayte's teacher lost him....

tara

thankful: day 3

2011-11-03T14:40:00.002-05:00

i am thankful for my boys... all five of them. the one thing i am most proud of is being a mother. in my opinion it is the one thing i have always done well. like anyone i have my moments that aren't stellar, but i come back better than before. it is one of the few things i will never quit being and i am grateful for that.

baylee: he makes me a smarter person. he has always questioned EVERYTHING. i have googled more things for him, things i have forgotten or things i never knew. he has a kind heart and tries to keep the peace. that's why so many people like him. he has taught me to have a kinder heart, and for that i am blessed.

tayte: he has the sweetest heart. i love that every teacher he has ever had he still goes out of his way to hug them. he is a head first hugger, from that you know that he wants to hug you. he has taught me unconditional love in a way no one else has. he is a thinker too, you can see in his face and the comments he makes that he thinks about things. but, most of all his sense of humor and laugh is contagious. he tells a joke and laughs before he gets the punchline out.

payton: he is strong. he sees the way things should be and he sticks with the path he thinks will lead him to his goal. he is also extremely sweet. he loves his brothers and doesn't bat an eye at showing them. he as taught me there is a balance between stubbornness and gentleness.

trayce: he is in heaven waiting for me. even though he was only in my life for a short period of time the lesson he taught me is one that i needed to learn the most. and because of him i am a stronger more empathetic person.

kayson: when we were looking for names i kept coming back to this one. and when i realized what it means i knew that was going to be the name we would use boy or girl. kayson means "healer". and in his short life he has healed me. he has made me as whole as i can possibly be. for being so small he has done such a huge job. he has taught me to slow down and to cherish the time we have together.

i am grateful to be called mom to these boys. even though they are so young they have taught me so much. and as the parent i thought i was supposed to be the teacher. funny how this whole thing works.

tara

thankful: day 2

2011-11-02T20:00:00.002-05:00

i am thankful for lee. he is an amazing man. i am so blessed to be able to call him my best friend, my husband, and the father of my children. he works hard so i can stay home and raise the boys. he provides for all our needs. he is a wonderful role model for our boys, showing them how a man should treat his wife and raise children. the quote "my father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."[Clarence Budington Kelland] is lee. he lives and shows these boys how to live. he is an involved dad: he coaches the boys in almost all sports, he helps with cub scouts, and in fact as i type this he is in the living room playing catch with payton and tayte. we are all better for having him in our lives. i thank God daily for giving me lee.

tara

thankful: day 1

2011-11-02T19:50:00.002-05:00

last year i saw this and it was well into november when i finally did see it, so i said i would play along next year. well, it's next year....

i am thankful for a loving God. a God who believes in me even when i don't. a God who is my father and loves me unconditionally. He loves me so much He asked His only son to suffer for my sins. And Jesus did just that. suffered a horrendous death so that i have the chance to spend eternity with them. and the Holy Spirit to help guide me in my daily life and choices. i am blessed by Him beyond measure and for that i am grateful.

tara

payton's pre-k program

2011-01-28T17:59:00.008-06:00

the pre-k did a pre-game signing program at the coaches vs. cancer game the other night. hence all the kids in pink. and they were stinking cute.

they did the cha cha slide (i think that's the name of the song).

clapping

hop one time

stomp one time

now cha cha

and then they sang a train song.

chugging away.

toot toot

and for their final song they did a song all about wiggles

wiggle my hands.

wiggle my hips.

wiggle my feet.

payton knew every word, every action, and he loved singing them all. we were way up in the stands and could hear him screaming the words. i am so glad we got this one on video too. yes, lee and i are "those" parents. both of us have a camera strapped to our faces. we went a long time without videoing anything and now i regret it. so we are trying to be better.

tara

tayte's first grade basketball program

2011-01-28T17:37:00.007-06:00

so last friday we weren't just in the middle of a stock show, we had tayte's basketball program. during halftime of the varsity girl's game the first graders walk out dribbling onto the court and perform a variety of basketball skills.

throw the ball up, clap and catch it. dribble right handed. dribble left handed. dribble while getting down on one knee. rotate the ball around your head.

sit down and dribble on one side then switch to the other side. oh, and did i mention that they are all sychronized? dribble while getting down on their tummies

so they can end the show like this.

pretty impressive if you ask me. i knew girls on my varsity basketball team that couldn't do some of those things.

tara

our first stock show

2011-01-28T16:25:00.008-06:00

baylee has been raising a pig for his first stock show. he decided he wanted a duroc, how he knew the different kinds was beyond me. but, he knew what he wanted and that is what we got. luckily for us since we were new to this whole ordeal, a guy lee works with LOVES this kinda stuff. so, tyler was on the look out for a duroc. at the end of october we became the proud owners of a pig.

a pig named doug. doug's mom weighed about 1,000 pounds. so when we got this cute little 50 pound (i think that was about his original weight) pig, i made sure that all 3 of the boys got in the pen with him so he could get used to them. there is not telling how big he could get. so the boys played with him everyday when we'd go check on him.

and doug ate a lot. and he got big. and on january 23rd baylee showed doug in their first (and for doug his last) stock show.

i never in my wildest dreams would have guessed how much work goes into showing a pig. payton and tayte had a good ol' time hanging out at the ag barn.

payton was so excited because his best friend "coltkeys" had a sister showing pigs too, so they ran all over the place in hog heaven.

tayte turned into a monkey and every time i looked at him he was climbing on the bars, just swinging away.

so, we (and by we i mean lee) moved doug from the pens to the ag barn on thursday afternoon. thursday evening we (this we is baylee and lee) had to wash doug. baylee washed his sides and that was about it. which makes me wonder how well he is bathing himself? anyway, he wouldn't really scrub anywhere else all that great, so lee grabbed the brush and got the rest of doug presentable. now, we wait so doug can be weighed.

getting 113 pigs weighed was interesting to watch. people standing arounding, people opening/closing pens for the coming and going of the pigs, others driving pigs, and pigs driving people. controlled chaos. doug weighed in at 218 pounds. and ended up in the lightweight class. he was 5 pounds shy of the heavy weights. so both classes were really close. after that it was just a waiting game.

friday they showed all other animals, so it was just a matter of making sure doug ate and had water. and then that evening they clipped him. i guess it never dawned on me that you should give a pig a haircut (there isn't a book about that, lol), but you do. and that was an experience. some people just cut their pigs hair in the pen they are in. tyler suggested we don't do that because it can poke him when he lays down and irritate his skin. we don't want to have a pig with irritated skin now do we. so we (and by we i mean lee and tyler) took doug to the cage set up for clipping. and snouted him. since, i didn't know what this meant i'm sure someone reading this won't know either. you take a rope and wrap it around the upper part of his snout, and pull real snug. then you take the other end and tie it to the end of the cage. and pigs don't really like this. so doug squealled. a lot. and finally after he calmed down some tyler cut his hair. baylee did about 2 swipes and wasn't so good at it and tyler took over again.

so, saturday morning baylee showed his pig. he walked around keeping doug moving. he did a great job. and if you were like me and have never been to a stock show you really have to pay attention to the judge because he is sneaky. he walks up to a kid and puts the number of fingers out that tells what place they got. and i'm not sure if he gets low because it's a bunch of kids but, it's almost like he is trying to hide his hands. anyway, baylee got first in his class. he was so glad. that meant he got to show again after the second class of durocs.
since he got first they put you in a holding pen like this waiting to show again. and this thing is big enough for one pig and one kid. nothing more, nothing less. and while we waited one of the pigs tried to climb out of there. i never knew pigs could climb, but they can.

baylee showed for best of breed and WON. he was grinning from ear to ear. and someone told me that the 1st place from the light weight class rarely beats the 1st place from the heavy weight class. but, really it was just 5 pounds difference between classes.

and baylee's first showing was in class 5. there were 20 classes. so now it was a waiting game again.

baylee got to show again for grand champion. well, i heard a hundred times that durocs never win grand champion, so i wasn't holding my breathe. and the judge never really even looked at doug during this round. as soon as baylee and doug got in the showing area, doug and another pig to into it. so the guys with the big red boards separated them. and it was downhill from there for baylee and doug. doug kept trying to get out of there, i don't blame him he was attacked by another pig. at least that's my version. so the guys with the red boards kept hitting him with their board and pissing him off. and poor baylee couldn't get enough strength to push him away and get him walking.

and with all those pigs it was mass chaos. everyone of them trying to get their pig over in front of the judge. looking pleadingly at him.

but, for his first show baylee did a fabulous job. and he even wants to show again next year.

i now i have 3 boys who are way to attached to this pig. friday night they all 3 were in their beds crying because they didn't want to "lose" doug. crap.

tara

family prayer time

2011-01-18T21:08:00.002-06:00

we started praying before bed at night together as a family. i'd like to say we do it every night but, reality sets in. we are really pretty good about doing it about 5 times a week. we started a year or two ago and i am so thankful that we did. first of all the boys have learned most of the regular prayers they should know. but, to watch them grow in their praying has been the biggest blessing. when we started we would have to force tayte to pray for at least 2 things. and then we would have to force him to pray for 2 different things because he would find 2 things and stick with them for as long as possible. now he changes things up every couple of nights or so. baylee has really learned to pray for people even if he doesn't know their name. i like that he will pray for people he will never meet. i hope someone out there is praying for him too. and i'll have to admit lee and i have gotten better at praying for different things. you know the saying practice makes perfect. but, the real reason for this post is so that i can remember payton's favorite prayer for the time being:

glory be to the father, and to the son, and to the holy spirit, holy mary
mother of God world without death amen.

it cracks me up every time he says it. no matter how many times lee and i correct him this is how he says the glory be. oh well, maybe later.

tara

baylee's basketball game

2011-01-15T20:38:00.002-06:00

today baylee had a basketball game. and this isn't an ordinary game. we were playing white deer. we had played this team earlier in the season (and by season i mean 6 weeks total) and they creamed us. we lost by 40 points. well, lee is the coach and he can be competitive. he is a really good coach and believes that all players should play and really tries hard to play all the boys equally. he doesn't find the star kid and work with them and let the others just kinda muddle through. if i have to be a coach's wife this is the kind of coach i want to be married too. at this age that is what it is about, building the kid's confidence and teaching them skills.

win some, lose some.

teach it all to the kids.

don't be out for blood.

i admire lee for this, and you can tell the kids do too. but, back to today's game. the coach for this team is the exact opposite of lee. when they were beating us he was still pushing his kids to go harder, not to slow the pace. you know like a coach with class would do. this team had beat every one of the panhandle teams. and the coach was a jerk each time. in fact, several of the other coaches gave him some version of this comment, "really coach, you're beating us by...." out for blood. don't get me wrong, i think you should push the kids and teach them that when appropriate don't let up. i do have a competitive side too, ask people i've played against. but, i also think you should teach kids how to be gracious. so, lee's competitive side really was getting to him. he wanted to beat this guy. so at practice this week lee really played up the "they've beat every one... we're going to give it our all... and some of you may not play as much... everyone on the team is here this game (one of our stronger players was out sick last game)." he pumped them up. and boy did it work.

the game starts and before i know it we are up 6-0. the whole first quarter we had the lead by no less than 5. it was intense. the second quarter starts and the boys are still on fire. they came to PLAY. remember this team beat us by 40 last time. our boys had an agenda.

then things get real interesting. halfway through the second quarter the referees switch. this never happens. our refs are volunteer high school students with a few other older people. we had 2 high schoolers, until the switch, when a girl who has been out of school maybe 4-5 years steps in. then, one of the ladies who helps run the whole show starts talking to the other coach. and then the new ref starts talking to him. he apparently is complaining about how our boys are screening and complaining the refs aren't calling fouls. the new ref informs him they aren't fouling no matter how their feet are stanced as long as they don't extend their arms and push off the kid. he keeps mouthing. lee said he told the other lady, "well i'll just have my kids push back and hurt those other kids." so, the other lady gets in his face. he is still griping. and she ejects him from the game. the ref switch was because the first ref was intimitaded by him, so the second came because she wouldn't put up with his mouth.

crazy.

this is third and fourth graders. and a coach gets ejected.

CRAZY.

one of our kid's dad is a local highway patrol. chris stood up and was ready to go help out if needed. lee told me later that when he saw chris stand up he just backed off and kept his mouth shut. i guess that is why there always are law enforcement at the games. lol.

as the coach was walking out of the gym he called another guy out of the stands to come coach. and there was mouthing from him and from the crowd. he said they weren't coming back. and there were a lot of good i hope nots.

so, we get back to playing. and, they bring the game to a tie. then, we pull ahead. the third quarter was stressful. at one point white deer had the lead by 2 points. tie...us lead...tie...white deer lead...tie...us lead...tie. the gym starts to fill up. i'm not sure if it was because of the game after ours or if word was getting around that this was an interesting game. probably a little of both (you know small towns). i am so proud of the defense the boys are playing, they are sticking with those boys like glue and you can tell it is getting to them. that team rarely misses, but they were missing shot after shot. one of their strongest players fouls out. our kid shoots his free throw and we are up by 1. there is just under 30 seconds. it is a nail biter. we head to the other end of the court and they don't get a shot in. we get the ball and head back to our end. we win by 1 point.

one.

our guys have come so far in the last few weeks. lee played every boy. some not as much as others. but, every boy played with more heart than they had all season. everyone of them will walk away as the team that beat the team that was undefeated. lee said after the game he had the boys all huddled up and every one of them had big wild eyes. eyes of pride and disbelief. this team had beat them by 40 the first time and then we beat them by 1.

lee also says he has something special planned for the boys who didn't get to play as much today. and it's a good one. you'll have to check back later after the end of the month. i don't want to ruin the surprise. and it's another reason why i love him and love him coaching.

oh, and white deer didn't come for their second game today. after the game the boys and i went to get a soda from taylors and we saw the replacement coach walking out with an 18 pack. it was a rough game. lol.

tara

2010: a year in review

2010-12-31T20:20:00.033-06:00

2010 has been a great year for the ogletrees. we had a blast doing lots of different things. i had a few friends and family members post year in reviews posts and decided since i wasn't the best blogger this year i would do one as well. so hope you enjoy seeing our year in review.

payton had a cavity filled and no matter what i did i couldn't keep him from bitting his numb lip, so this is what happened. i felt horrible for him, because it looked like it hurt, and he remembered it for a while after.

baylee played 3rd-4th grade basketball with lee coaching again this year. each year he gets better and better. he scored a few times this season, but he is strongest at defense. he really got in the mix of things, fought for loose balls, and got banged around some. and enjoyed every minute of it.

this was tayte's first year of halftime basketball programs. he was so funny to watch. yes he is in the back row, which is the place for those with the least skill, but that's ok. when it was time to throw the ball up and clap he made sure to throw it just about a foot up, then you are almost guaranteed to catch it. and when it was time to tap the ball in between your legs from the front and back, he sat on the ball. again makes sure that danged ball won't get away from you.

january ended with a huge snow storm, so in true texas redneck fashion we brought out the 4 wheelers and went sledding. since i saw one of my cousins flip on a 4 wheeler, i have never been a big fan of them, but they are starting to grow on me. but, as a mom i was a nervous wreck the whole time the boys were on them. everyone had a ride or two.

lee holding payton for his ride.

i love this picture for 2 reasons: 1. it shows what a good dad lee is, and 2. it reminds me of my dad pulling us up and down royal road when we were little.

february we took a ski trip with some friends. there were 9 adults and 13 kids all staying in one cabin. it was a fabulous trip even with so many people in one place. it was super bowl weekend so we spent the first part skiing and the last part watching the game.

baylee is turning into quite a skier. we try to take him once a year and hopefully it shows. i went skiing for the first time 3 years ago and i am too slow for baylee and he doesn't want to have to wait for his momma.

this is tayte at ski school. he was in school both days we skied and it is a good thing. he really did like it even though it "made him tired."

we stayed in a ski-in ski-out cabin so it was easiest to take the lift up and ski home. so this is tayte skiing home after his second day of ski school. he made it home with no problems. and lee is taking all the in action pictures because i do good just to stay on my skis and would die if i dropped my camera when i crashed and burned because it isn't pretty when i fall.

baylee had his basketball program. each year the drills they do get more difficult, but it still is impressive how in sync everyone is.

and on february 28th baylee turned 9. he is growing up so fast and each day even though some of them are hard i am grateful to be his mom. he is a great kid, thoughtful, kind, caring, oh i could go on. he teaches me tons of stuff, and lots of it is that trivia that i really don't want to know but he tells me anyway. at least he's listening to someone.

i'm sure we did lots in the month of march and april, but since i couldn't find any pictures in my 20,000+ pictures i'm not sure what we did. lee had his birthday in march so that was the highlight of those months. and that was the calm before the storm, because i don't think we stopped in may.

to start may off tayte turned 6, may 10th to be exact. he has come so far in the last year. he has come out of his shell more. he still likes to stay at home and would rather play a video game than anything else. but, if you get him out and going he is the last one to want to go home. he is a middle child, but you really can't tell because he is just so easy going. and i can always count on a hug and an "i love you" at random times.

panhandle lost a local hero. a guy i went to high school with was killed while serving our country. i wanted the boys to witness his homecoming. what a sight that was. people lined the streets of panhandle so show support to the family.

one of the highlights of 3rd grade is the living museum. baylee had north dakota.

here he is reciting his "speech" to tayte.

we had the peewee track meet. a morning of running and this year and afternoon of playing in bouncers and games. neither boy came in first, but they didn't come in last either. but the smiles on their faces showed they had fun.

baylee got commended on both parts of the taks test. he really is a smart kid and we are so proud of him and his hard work. and he was so excited that he got to get an award at the ceremony. he really is growing up because he didn't want to sit with his parents, but with a group of friends.

lee coached tayte's t-ball team. we let tayte choose this year between basketball or t-ball and he chose t-ball. he really didn't want to play and towards the end of the season we had to force him to go to the games. he did have fun when he was at the games, it was just the getting there.

i get a photo like this every season of lee and whoever he is coaching. i love these photos.

tayte's "slide" home. he stopped right there and rolled the rest of the way home. it was the making of a good laugh.

we started our summer with a trip to visit lee's sister, angie, and her husband and kids. we went to schlitterban, floated the river (very different when you are doing it with kids), and just hung out at their house. we had a blast.

roasted weenies and made smores.

it was really too hot to being doing this, but we were determined to have smores.

june to me always reminds me of going to the farm and picking cherries. i guess it's because we always had a cherry cobbler for the 4th of july and you had to pick those cherries. there are a few things from my childhood that i make sure that the boys experience. picking cherries is one of those things. we went to the farm and picked as long as the boys could handle it. we probably got enough for 3-4 cobblers. not bad for using child labor. this one made me a little sad. one of the trees was cut down and i realized we may not get to pick cherries from the same tree i did as a child. but, as long as it's there we'll go pick cherries (after my aunt evelyn gets what she wants first).

the boys enjoyed it for a while, but the novelty wore off quickly.

then after you pick them you have to do something with them. i borrowed my aunt evelyn's cherry pitter and the boys went to town. again the novelty of this wore off quickly.

pit a few eat a few, pit a few eat a few.

and it just isn't a trip to the farm without playing on uncle donnie's tractors. it is so much more fun to play with life sized tractors that then ones you push around.

we went to the wells fargo company picnic. the highlight of the evening was the obstacle course. first was employees, lee and his partner mario made it to the finals.

there were some big guys on those little trikes. and one didn't make it through the evening.

then families could run the course. and i think i ran that thing a million times.

baylee and lee entered a father/son golf tournament. they won first place in the elementary school age division.

and boy do they look alike here.

summer was spent with sarah, the best babysitter ever. she took the boys swimming and let them just be kids and hang out at home.

and then school started.

baylee is in fourth grade and has the same homeroom teacher that he had in kindergarden.

tayte is in first grade.

and payton started pre-k. and he is so excited that he gets to eat in the cafeteria. he is so loving school.

and 2 days after school august 25th payton turned 4. i can't believe that my baby is 4. he is ornery, thoughtful, loving and did i mention ornery. he will give you a look like "i know you are not happy, but if i smile at you, you will think i'm still cute and not be so mad." he is stubborn too, but he makes my life so interesting and i wouldn't change it for anything.

the end of august was rough for me. i closed my store. it was something i struggled with for 18 months. i debated on whether i should close or wait for the economy to pick back up. it was one of the hardest choices i have ever had to make and still wish i had the store to go to. i miss all the ladies, and a few men, i met. i made some great friendships through the store, and those ladies where there for me during some of my toughest times in my personal life.

over labor day we went to angel fire to stay at a friend's cabin. it was tons of fun and again, lots of adults and tons of kids. we did lots of fun things. we went to red river and got to ride go carts, climb rock walls, ride a bull, and riding these bumper car things. on this trip there was fishing, hiking, and lots of just hanging out.

lee and the other dads had a bull riding contest. lee hung on tight but didn't win.

i let payton drive this thing and i was not feeling so well afterwards.

tayte got to join cub scouts this year. i am so excited to have 2 cub scouts. and i even volunteered to be tayte's den mother. it has been tons of fun for me as well. they learn so many valuable life lessons in scouting antayd i am glad to be a part of it.

tayte played flag football this year. he had a good season, he even pulled a couple of flags and loved it. he jumped up and down and almost didn't give the flag back. of course he messed around a lot and never was where he was supposed to be. and he would get one kid and stick with him instead of going after the ball. but not bad for his first year.

in october i drank the kool-aid and went on an acts retreat which was really a fabulous experience and i am glad my aunt nagged me to go.

halloween is always a fun time at our house. lee loves to carve pumpkins.

the boys were harry potter (and my blondie looked so different with black hair), spiderman, and jango fett.

november had my 33rd birthday, and hopefully the end of my birthday curse. baylee joined 4h this year. one of the activities he did was the food show. he got 1st in his division and will be going to the district show in february. thanksgiving was spent at lee's aunt carolyn and uncle bruce's house. with our telling them that we were expecting another baby. so much to be thankful for this year.

and december brings all things christmas. tayte and payton have been going to gymnastics and they had their christmas party there with them getting to play in both gyms.

tons of school parties, 4h parties, boy scouts parties, lee's work parties.

finding time to put up the tree and decorations. baylee and tayte had their school singing program.

baylee had a duet with his good friend andrew. and with a trip from santa. he said the boys had been good and left them tons for proof.

this year as you can see has been busy for us and next year will be just as busy. we have been very blessed this year. reflecting on it has been a great way to spend my new years eve. i hope everyone has a great new year.

tara

trayce

2010-11-03T23:13:00.002-05:00

so i made it through today.

i even managed to put on a "happy face" at times.

but mind you today was not a happy day for me. let me take you back to what happened a year ago. on the worst day of my life....

lee and i woke up early. we got the kids ready for school and took them to a friend's house for her to take them to school. then we drove in silence to the hospital. i stared blankly out the window with tears streaming down my face.

once we got to the hospital we went to the third floor, told the nurses our names. and the sad looks started. the hushed whispers. we were told to wait in the waiting room for my room to be ready. from what i remember it was a busy night and there was an issue if my room would be ready at all. i sat there and watched people happily walk by with the stuffed bears. the balloons. all the things that i would not be having.

after what seemed like hours we were taken to my room. and the nurse started getting my prepped for the day. "i'm sorry," she kept repeating. "how are you doing?" she kept asking. "fine" was the only thing i could muster. when what i wanted to yell was "how do you think i am doing?" i knew she hated this part of her job, who wouldn't? i kept telling her how much this must suck for her going to work knowing that i was coming. i constantly reminded myself that she was doing the worst part of her job that day. babysitting me.

finally, i was all hooked up to monitors and iv's and ready for the doctor to come in and give me the medicine to start the delivery process.

yes, today was the day that i was to deliver my baby. my baby that i would not be taking home. my baby that the day before i was told had no heartbeat. my baby that was so small he could fit in the palm of my hand.

finally, after what seemed like the longest day, that night i delivered trayce kannon ogletree.

i am not the same person that walked into that hospital a year ago. i have changed so much that i wonder if there are any similarities between the two.

over the last year i have run the spectrum of feelings, numbness, anger, guilt, you name it i felt it. those first few weeks i really just walked through life numb. not really caring about anything. i ate very little, in fact i only ate when lee would bring me something and only then did i eat enough for him to notice that some was gone. i just really didn't care. i would be lying if i said i wasn't angry at God. because i was. i questioned Him daily. why me? hadn't i been through enough already? whatever i had done hadn't i paid enough already? what lesson was i supposed to get out of this, because really i don't think it was going to teach me anything. and of course there was the guilt that i had done something wrong. so horrible that the only punishment for me was to have my child taken from me. was this my punishment for only wanting boys. each time i was pregnant i never hoped for a healthy baby, i always hoped for a boy.

i still wonder about a lot of things. i still don't understand. i probably never will.

today though, i wonder who trayce would be if he were here. he would be about 7 months old. would he look like me or lee, or be a combination? would he be quiet or loud? would he get excited when his brothers entered the room?

who would he have been when he grew up?

i also would be lying if i said i thought of him everyday. i guess i'm just a horrible mom. there are days that go by and he never crosses my mind. i get so caught up in the activities of our lives that i just don't think about him. and some of those days as i lay in bed and see the white box of his things sitting beside my bed i have a whole new flood of guilt hit me. what kind of mother had a child and doesn't think about him daily?

but when i do think of him, i wonder... does he know how much i do love him? is he sitting with my dad? does he have the same experience the other boys have with my dad? does he know how sorry i am?

so i am not the same person i was a year ago. i am the mother of 4 boys. and although i think all my boys are angels, one just happens to be in heaven. looking down on me and saying "one day..."

tara

tooth fairy dilemna

2010-10-21T11:25:00.002-05:00

a few weeks ago tayte lost a tooth. he really lost it, it didn't just come out of his mouth. it came out and tayte didn't know where it went. we could have left it at that because i don't think it bothered him at all that he wasn't going to get a visit from the tooth fairy. but, i suggested to tayte that he write a letter to the tooth fairy to explain what happened. here is what he said (paraphrased, darned tooth fairy took the letter):

dear tooth fairy,
i lost my tooth and can't find it. will you please leave me a twenty dollar bill.
tayte

after he wrote his note i tried to explain that the tooth fairy left $5 for baylee's first tooth and then $1 for every other one. but, i don't think he was listening to me.

a few days later i was changing the sheets on tayte's bed and found a dollar bill under his pillow. i left it on the head board so when he came home i could show him. after school i showed tayte what the tooth fairy had left him. he looked at it for a really long time. then he said, "i don't want it." i told him i guess he could put it back under the pillow and let the tooth fairy have it back. "ok." i also told him that if he did that the tooth fairy probably wouldn't come back to see him ever again. so he stood there and thought, "ok, i guess i'll keep it." REALLY. tayte has already discovered that a dollar won't buy you anything. and his teeth are worth more than a dollar.

tara

wowwie kazowie

2010-09-28T09:38:00.002-05:00

i know it has been awhile since i posted. and i could post the worlds longest post to catch up, but i plan on posting a little about the last few months and what is going on now in the near future. so if you see a date in the title that is when the post actually happened.

since my last post i have closed the store. i officially closed august 28th, but didn't fully move out of there until september 12. that was the roughest 14 weeks of my life. working long hours. emotionally draining long hours. i decided months and months before i made my announcement, but it was new to everyone else and for them to take it in was hard. even though i had come to peace about it i had to help everyone else get to an ok place. many i think are still in denial.

moving out was tough too. physically draining. i have super friends that stayed and helped me. and some of my friends have super friends that came and helped also. i was truly amazed at how these people who don't know me spent their weekend moving stuff. i needed that to renew my faith in people.

but, now i am at home during the day. and anyone who had bets that i would be crazy bored by the end of the first month has lost the bet. i am in the process of cleaning out my house. decluttering. majorly. i don't think the kids are fully realized how big this is. they find some of the things i am doing, but until i hit their room, i don't think they will get it. so far the count is 3 LARGE trashcans to the dump and one car load of stuff to goodwill. sadly, that is just from the office and office closet. today's agenda: the living room.

i am amazed at how much i am in the car running errands and what-not. how did all this get done before? we have added some additional events to the calendar, but still....

so now that things have slowed a little and i am getting into a groove expect more frequent posts. and yes, i know i have said that before, you'll just have to check back to see if i am a liar or not.

happy cleaning,
tara

romeo and juliet

2010-05-19T22:16:00.006-05:00

today the kindergarten class did their rendition of romeo and juliet. it was so stinkin' cute. the high school drama class did this with them. they did a street fight to the song "eye of the tiger."

da.

da. da. da.

da. da. da.

da. da. daaaaaaaaaaa.

so imagine the kids jumping back and forth to this song. then throw in the chanting back and forth: montague...capulet...romeo and juliet...

each class did a scene from the play so there were 3 different romeos and juliets. tayte was mr. capulet. here he is with his speaking part. he got such a kick out of getting to use the microphone.

here he is waiting for the other classes to finish their scenes. you can tell he is done. not only did he lay down (which i later heard 2 moms complaining about the kids being bored "and there were some kids laying down" i almost piped up and said yeah my kid) he also put his shirt over his head and several other things.

they ended the show doing the macarena, which tayte actually did. he always says "i'm tired... my legs hurt..." and several other things which all mean i don't want to do what you want me to. i was really proud of how well he did. that kid never ceases to amaze me.

tara

living museum

2010-05-19T18:13:00.005-05:00

third grade is a big deal. you have taks for the first time. but here in panhandle you have the living museum. everyone in third grade is given their assignment. this year's theme was the 50 states. each child had a state and had to research that state. it is a great learning experience for these kids. for many if not all it is the first time they research anything in detail, really laying the groundwork for research papers later.

baylee was the great state of north dakota (do you sense the heavy sarcasm?) other than the movie fargo most people wouldn't be able to tell you anything about the state.

the teachers had the kids to make a poster.

they dressed like a native from their state. we really needed clarification for this one because i tend to lean on the sarcastic side and wanted to say "i am a native texan and this is how i dress." so while researching at school baylee found a picture of a native american which met the approval of his teacher. i was really impressed with myself with this costume. the only purchase we made was for a box of straws so i could make his breastplate. everything else came from things we had lying around the house.

the idea behind the museum is that it is similar to a robotics type museum. all the kids were in the cafeteria in their assigned spot. after seeing several kids i figured out that they were placed in the spot they would be if you were looking at the map. ok, it was like halfway through but i did figure it out.

so the kids are all standing their with their heads down. someone comes up and pushes their red button. after that they go through the monologue they have memorized. it needed to be around 5-7 sentences with things like tourist attractions, what goods were produced their, the state motto, nickname, those kinds of things. when they finished their speach they put their head down until the next person pushed their button.

no matter how many people pushed their button they said the same thing. even if the same person pushed it several times. lots of older siblings doing that. of course i wouldn't be me if i didn't do something. so as some of the kids i know pretty well were talking i was making funny faces or sticking my tongue out. the all finished their speach mostly straight-faced and only a few giggled.

wasn't he the cutest little blonde headed indian you ever seen.

tara

homecoming of a fallen soldier

2010-05-12T16:53:00.006-05:00

i had seen a youtube video a while back on someone's blog. she pretty much guilted anyone who reads her blog to watch this video. she said something along the lines of "he gave his life to protect your way of life, so you can give him 10 minutes of yours to watch his funeral procession." if that doesn't work you don't really deserve to live in the land of the free. well, after watching that i decided i needed to take the boys to see when troops come home. i had asked a few people that i knew had spouses oversees how one would find out when they would come home. no one could tell me. and in all honesty, i didn't push it more than that. i know i'm sad and pathetic.

so a week ago a guy i went to high school with was killed in iraq. i had heard that they wanted people to line main street to honor him home. perfect opportunity to teach the boys a lesson in patriotism.

we made a sign, got some flags, and i pulled the boys out of school ready for his arrival.

the wind was blowing 700 miles an hour, which made for some awesome pictures because all the flags were flowing so beautifully. i thought of complaining about how the dirt was killing my eyes, but really did i have any reason to complain? he gave his life and so many before him so i could be standing there.

these two guys just happen to be standing by us. i told payton to get in front of him for a picture. afterwards i told him "i used you for a cool picture."

his friend said "i'll give you a good picture of your kids." so of course i jumped on it. i didn't check so the one of tayte my focus was on the flag, still kinda cool. and baylee's friend sean wanted in on the action. they are members of the iron soldiers, they go to homecomings of fallen soldiers to honor them. see how awesome the flags look because of the wind.

it made me kinda sad that there weren't more people there. i don't know if because i had watched that video where they had gone over several counties and thousands of people had stopped to show respect. i wonder if my generation doesn't get it like past generations. if you compare the war now to any past war: vietnam, WWI, WWII, the civil war. i don't think we are affected like they were. there have been people die in this one and everyone is just as important as another, but i guess since there have not been as many we are oblivious to it. esau is the first person that i have personally known to die in war. i was talking to a lady the other day and she knew several people in her class alone that had died. i admit to never once think about the troops for days at a time. i hope i change this. i hope by taking my kids downtown that day that they learned something. i did feel better when i heard that highland park took all the kids out of school and had them line highway 60. and people from pantex lined highway 60 outside the plant.

the motorcycles were really cool.

the colorguard waiting.

i talked to baylee about what this all meant. how he was able to play the video games he wanted. to look online searching for an answer and not have to "learn" what his president told him was "truth." that he could wear what he wanted, say whatever he thought, and do what he chooses. i hope he understands. i am sure we will revisit this subject again. at first i wanted to shelter him and not let him think that people my age could die. i wanted him to live a kid's denial that nothing can happen to his parents. but, my desire to teach him respect and honor for a fallen soldier won out. i am glad it did because it is a leason i think he needs to understand.

i hope you never get this opportunity, but if you do it is your american duty to do this. honor this soldier, because without them you wouldn't get to do the things you love most.

tara

baseball season has begun

2010-05-04T15:59:00.005-05:00

baylee started baseball. this year he is doing kid pitch. i'm not quite sure i like this level, but we have only had one game so i guess i should give it a try. he had his first game friday. let me tell you the story.

he had to be at the ballfield early so he could get his uniform. as we pull up to the field lee and i both realize that we didn't get the poor kid anything to drink. so we decided to leave and head up to taylor's to get him and the other boys a drink. lee goes in with tayte and payton. after a few minutes here they come. payton is crying and lee has a baggie of ice. lee gets in the car and tells me he just got a phone call that baylee got hit in the face with a ball. his glasses are broken and his eye is swelling. are you kidding me? the first game hasn't even started and he is hurt. so why was payton crying? he just got in trouble for not listening, go figure. now we are heading back to the field to see the damage.

we get there and the only thing wrong with baylee is that he looks like he had been crying. his lense had popped out, but was easily popped back in. his eye was fine, no scratch, no nothing.

other than that the game was good. it is a new level with new rules. they can steal, which once the boys figured that out they thought it was big stuff. they got creamed. you could tell the other team had practiced a lot more than our boys, but anyway.

baylee did great. he hit the ball twice making it to base both times.

did you notice who else is in the picture? that's right lee. he is just an observer. no coaching. he is kinda having a hard time with that though. this is the first time he hasn't been baylee's coach.

he even made it all the way around once. and he batted a kid in.

he is in the outfield. which is not the best position, but you know. baylee did mention that he played the whole game and didn't get to touch the ball. and when i was taking these pictures he was dancing to no music. maybe that's why he is in the outfield?!? and not sure why he is eating his glove.

tara

what a couple of days

2010-04-24T20:57:00.002-05:00

it all started wednesday night. lee was packing to go to houston for business. he said he doesn't think he could be the kind of guy that traveled all the time. i am glad, we really would miss him. tayte heard him say he was getting on a plane. that was tragedy #1. lee came into our room and told me i needed to go calm tayte down. what i wanted to say was why don't you, why can't you think of the things needed to be heard that will calm a 5 year old. but i got tayte to come into our room so we wouldn't freak out the other two. he was really upset that lee was going to be gone. i asked tayte why he never cried like this when i was going to be gone, but tayte's response was, "i do sometimes." i attempted to pull out pictures of when we went to disneyland so he could see that flying wasn't so bad. so after talking to him and realizing he just really loves his daddy we got him to quit crying and go to sleep. it wasn't some freaky kid premonition just the thought of missing daddy.

about 1 in the morning lee wakes up to puking noises. it was payton. and luckily lee got payton to the restroom before having throw up everywhere. lee got up the first couple of times and then i took over. not by choice but i think lee was so tired he didn't hear it. that happened about every 1-1.5 the rest of the night. tragedy #2.

lee's flight left at 7:45. so i had school duty. i would normally consider that tragedy #3, but we'll not for now. i dropped the boys off at school and headed back home to hop on the wii fit. then it was off to work. being the great mom that i am i gave a bucket to payton and told him that if he was going to throw up he better do it in the bucket and not in the car. we made it to lakeside. i got a phone call from the school. tayte had thrown up and he said his little brother had been throwing up. tragedy #3. got rachael to cover opening the store and turned around. got to the school picked up tayte and decided i wasn't gonna come back so i pulled baylee out as well. we went home to get some ds's and other things to entertain the boys. i gave tayte his bucket with the same instructions and we were off once again to amarillo. to anyone that thinks i should have stayed home to 2 sick kids just know i have a playroom with a couch that they could rest on. so it is just like being at home only they don't have their beds. and no one got sick again.

that night was my altered arts group meeting. so the boys hung out at the store while they did their thing. baylee helped me close up the store. he was in charge of adding the credit card receipts and the checks. he didn't get the totals right, but he did understand what he was supposed to be doing. and you don't use a calculator until way later in school. we got home and everyone was told their jobs to get ready for bed. baths, homework that wasn't brought to the store, and make sure all things were signed. we were only getting to bed 1.5 past normal bedtime. the best thing about that night was the boys wanted to sleep with me. so after payton squirmed in bed he finally we to sleep in baylee's bed. he's never been one to sleep with lee and i so i knew that was coming. baylee, tayte, and i went to sleep shortly after getting into bed. i was beat.

the next morning i had school duty again. i made sure to set the alarm on my phone just in case my alarm clock didn't get me up. i plug my phone in across the room so it would eventually bug me enough to get out of bed. we got to school roughly on time. when i told baylee to get breakfast he was farting around for something else. since we didn't have any poptarts, breakfast was a baggie of grapes and strawberries, it is healthier but won't stay with them as long. so i hoped they could make it to lunch.

my plan was to go get the boys from danielle's house by 6 and have them back at the store until lee could come get them about 9. well tragedy #4. lee's flight was delayed hours. he didn't get to the store to pick the boys up until 11. but they were troopers and i made them a cake in the microwave. which was awesome!

so i have been running around like a crazy person. and am a beat dog. so hopefully i get a good nights sleep. oh, and i am extactic that lee is back. i don't think i could hack it as a single mom. ok maybe i could but it wouldn't be as much fun for the boys, they would have to cut back on the things they do.

tara

end of the season

2010-04-19T14:46:00.002-05:00

baylee was playing in a 3rd and 4th grade basketball league. there were 3 teams from panhandle playing. lee coached baylee's team which was made up of mostly 3rd graders. the other 2 teams were coached by dads of 4th graders and the assistant coaches also had 4th graders and since there aren't many 4th graders to start with that leaves few choices if you wanted a 4th grader. so lee decided he would just take the 3rd graders and try to do the best. if you haven't ever noticed there is a BIG size difference between 3rd and 4th graders. many of those boys were a good 6 inches taller than baylee's team. but, lee did a great job and the boys did awesome. the win column wouldn't agree, but the really did improve tremendously throughout the season. they got tougher. fought for the ball more. they had the speed to start with, they needed the control. they did gain a little of that.

they played in pyb (panhandle youth basketball, i think). then they played in a tournament this weekend. the rules that they had played with during the season were not the same rules as this tournament. which i think really threw off some of the boys. they had played man-on-man with no pressing. well this tourny was full court press if you wanted. and one team wanted. they were jerks led by the king jerk. why press a team you already beat, especially when you are up by 10 points. and when the games usually have no more than 30 points a game. really? i'm not into violence and i really don't get worked up at games, especially this age, but i wanted to punch that guy. and you don't make excuses when you lose. you try to learn from what happened and try to do better next time. but, (i'm sure you knew there was a but in there somewhere) if a kid has the ball and another kid steals it and makes the first kid spin around twice there is a foul in there somewhere. but was whistle blown? no. so that will mess with kids mind especially if you are a lot smaller than that kid. if that darned ref. would have called something baylee's team woulda hung in there. but they started fighting back. and when you have 5 quick short guys on the court lots can happen. and when those kids can be a little spastic, it is quite funny to watch.

baylee made a basket this season. he got meaner on the court. he gained confidence which is what i want him to get out of this whole experience. now if we can get him to stop hopping.

lee learned a lot coaching. one thing he learned is that he is not very patient with a bunch of 9 year olds. especially nine year olds that don't listen. but, he did make them better than what they were and that is what coaching is all about. he has coached baylee's team since kindergarten. he also learned that him and baylee need a break. he is a dad and wants his kid to be better. he needs to be the dad and yell like the dad. not the dad/coach.

so basketball was over yesterday. and baseball practice starts tomorrow. glad to have the day of rest between seasons.

tara

tayte's great day

2010-04-18T14:01:00.003-05:00

i am a middle child. yes, i know that explains a lot. tayte is a middle child.

i went to my friend sheryl's house the other day for a card club. because of baylee still being in basketball, payton stayed with me. so he went too. he loves going to sheryl's. i think it is because sheryl lets him get away with and gives him EVERYTHING. in fact, all the boys love going to her house. so that night lee asked payton if he had fun at sheryl's. and of course the answer was yes.

i'm sure by now you are wondering what that has to do with tayte and being the middle child. well, he started crying saying how he wanted to go to sheryl's and how he never gets to go. so yesterday i suckered sheryl into letting tayte come over. she will say i didn't but i did. i asked a million questions to see what she was doing, and if she would let tayte come over. and i still feel guilty for that. because if she did have something going on she wouldn't tell me. he had the best time. she took him to mr. gatti's for pizza, macaroni and cheese, jello, and ice cream. then they went to her house so he could play the wii. not sure why playing the wii at her house is better than ours but it is.

he was king for a day.

he didn't have to share with anyone. he didn't have to wait a turn. he didn't have a big brother taking things from him or a little brother that he had to give to. it was all about him. being a middle child you do get forgotten about. not in a bad way, just the older sibling has activities to do, the little sibling is into everything. there wasn't anyone to pester him or boss him, he got to do things his way all day.

if you really know lee and i we have the boys with us 98% of the time when they aren't in school. we had them and we feel we should raise them. we don't pawn them off onto other people. in fact, the high school sitter we use called us the other day and told us to go out and she would keep the boys. usually you have to call the sitter. we try to do things with the boys individually so they don't feel like they are a mob. that they are a single person. they just happen to live with lots of other people.

so tayte had a great day. and i am grateful for my friend sheryl. she says she is blessed to do that(in fact she kept texting me pictures and at one point i asked who was having more fun her or him), but i don't think she will ever really know what that does for the boys and i. she made a statement that i really have to agree with. all kids should know that they have an adult that loves them and wants to be around them. especially one that isn't related to them.

and now i have to keep baylee from pestering me to death while he waits for his turn.

tara

that thoughtful boy

2010-04-16T20:30:00.002-05:00

lee and i both have really been riding baylee lately. he is getting to that age that we think he should be listening more and doing what we tell him. when i was getting on to him the other day i felt horrible. he had a look in his eye, like he was beat down. so, i had to make sure that he knew lee and i both love him and why we are so hard on him. i told him that we expect a lot because most kids will meet the expectations you have for them. so we set the bar high so he will give us the best. i also made sure he knew that it wasn't him that we are upset with it is some of the choices and we are trying to help him make better choices.

and you know what he said? "you and dad made mistakes and you are trying to keep me from making those same mistakes. i get it."

yep, he is one thoughtful kid. i just hope he won't make some of those same mistakes.

tara

family day

2010-04-11T19:27:00.002-05:00

we had a great day today. we started the day off at church. which went pretty good until payton decided he needed to pester tayte. did i mention it was when he was taking his money up to the basket at the front of the church. he is standing there and according to one of the men at church "when you want to get rid of him i'll take him because he was stealing money out of the collection basket." great. he took tayte's dollar out, threw it on the floor and said, "tayte...taaaayyyyttttteeee." he pointed at it and wanted tayte to put it back in the basket. as soon as i stood up and snapped my fingers that little stinker grabbed that dollar, threw it in the basket and was headed to sit back down. other than that church was great.

then we heading into amarillo for some fun errands. we went to toys r us so the boys could spend the money the got for easter. headed to the mall so i could get some new shirts from american eagle, even though according to their advertising i am too old to wear their clothes. we went to eat at the boys' favorite place to eat, red robin. which even though 2 of the kids eat free we still couldn't get out of there for under $40. then headed to the movies. we watched "how to train a dragon." which was a really cute movie. in fact baylee asked if we could get it as soon as it was on dvd.

the boys were so good that it makes doing all these things easy. i am so grateful that they know how to act in public. now when we got home that was another story.

tara

i'm a mom who doesn't care

2010-04-08T21:16:00.002-05:00

ok really i do care. i just don't care about the trivial things. things that don't change the character of my child. who cares if they wear sweat pants with the elastic bottoms...and have them pulled up past their knees. because that is how payton left the house today, he did pull them down eventually. who cares if they play out in the front yard in their underwear...because really isn't that like a speedo? and there are grown men that do that.

i care about things that matter. i care that my kids have manners, because a please and a thank you can go a long way. i care that they have a belief in something greater than themselves. because sometimes life throws things at you that you really can't handle on your own.

i want to teach my kids that there are certain things you need to fight for and then there are things that you need to compromise on and deciding what those things are is the biggest challenge.

i get told a lot that i have great kids. i think it is because i don't care, but really do care. and i have a husband that feels the same way. because he is a great dad. we make a good team and have great kids to show for it. so the whole point of this post is to show that i am grateful for what i have and willing to fight for it. so if you don't like the fact that i yell at my kids and tell them they can't have a apple because they threw away their ice cream you can get over it. because there are people who are hungry and you don't waste food.

tara

i'm back....at least for the time being

2010-04-07T17:08:00.002-05:00

i really don't know why i stopped blogging. i really enjoy it. i could give a million reasons why, but it just boils down to life happened. so over the last several months life has happened. some good and some bad. the bad stuff always has a way of keeping me from doing much of anything. i have been in a funk but now i think i'm out of it. i have even been scrapbooking like a crazy person again. year to date i have done 77 layouts. that was a good year by the way. life has been crazy. briefly here's a run down on the boys:

baylee: played basketball with lee as the coach, had his 9th birthday, getting ready for the TAKS and it is stressing him out big time.
tayte: loving kindergarten and is reading. he looks at so many things and will tell me what they say. he chose not to do basketball, but wants to play hockey. we haven't been able to convince him he lives in the wrong place for hockey. don't know where he came up with that one because we have never seen a hockey game. he told the teacher "i'm pest" had to come up with a sentence using pest and that was the one.
payton: keeps saying he is ready for school, he is tired of going to the store with me, but we have lots of good times. his favorite thing is balloons. he can blow up a balloon on his own, which is great because as soon as he does he just lets it go.

i'm sure as i look through pictures again i remember other things that we have been doing.

the best thing we have done lately is start praying as a family. i don't know what made me think we needed to do this, but i'm glad i did. at first it was really hard to get the boys to understand what we were doing. but after a while they all got the idea and it has been really great. i used to start the prayer and then each boy would add their prayers, with lee ending it. now it is a fight as to who gets to lead and who ends. we have set up a system that they take turns. lee and i are both amazed at how payton changes his prayers based on if he is leading or just taking his turn. here is the typical prayer from each boy.

baylee: dear lord thank you for this day, thank you for the many blessings you have given us. please help all those that have lost someone, please help the people of haiti.
tayte: if the people are going on a trip that they have a good day, that they have good food, and that they have a good day to their old homes. that the teachers teach the kids what they need to and for very, very, very, very good friends.
payton: beans and beans, and macaroni cheese, for houses, clothes, tomatoes, and mckenzie. (he hasn't gotten the idea of what to pray for but he is asking for help for some and showing thanksgiving for his favorite things, so we'll leave it for now).

so, now that i posted once i'm planning on posting more often. i have been trying to get into a new routine and think that blogging is going to be in that routine. plus i always have stories to tell, even if they are just for me to remember while i scrapbook.

tara

the only advantage

2009-10-16T17:32:00.002-05:00

so tayte and i had this conversation the other night:

t: why is you tummy getting so big?
m: because the baby is growing.
t: oh, and then it will do this. puts his fingers together and points to his stomache, goes up his chest about 3-4 times. then puts his fingers to his mouth and acts like he is throwing up.
m laughing hysterically: no that is not how the baby gets here.
t: then how does it get out of your tummy?
m: i show him my c-section scar. they cut me here and that is how the baby gets out.
t: oh, that must really hurt.

so, i didn't have to explain how babies get here the old fashioned way and go through the whole thing about girls and boys being different. that is the ONLY benefit i have found in having c-sections.

tara

payton remembers

2009-10-08T13:38:00.003-05:00

this is how the story starts:

lee popped off to the babysitter about being a celebrity, saying she has been in the paper a lot lately. she thought he was talking about being on tv. lee mentioned that i was on tv once and that if she wanted to see it they could watch it. apparently lee doesn't know what that kamr recording is.

a couple of years ago kamr did a segment on the soda fountain at the pharmacy. so when they aired it i recorded it. i know lame. but, it aired a month after dad died and every once in a while i watch it and am glad i have it.

so, i told lee that what he thought was me was really my dad. i made him watch it. payton came in the room while it was playing. i asked him who that was. without a second thought he said "papa." i started to cry because he was only 15 months when dad died. i was certain that he would not remember him. sure we talk about papa, but rarely do i show a picture and put the name to the face. so payton and i sat there and watched this segment on dad about 10 times. each time he yelled "that's papa."

he then told me that papa was at our house. really, where? i asked. yep, he is in our tb. so when i miss him i can always find him in our tb.

tara

why?

2009-09-10T23:24:00.002-05:00

two young men have lost their lives. both entirely too young to be gone. one 20 one 17. i can't even begin to image losing a child. as a mother how do you continue? how do you get out of bed the next day. i keep seeing my grandmother leaning over my dad's hospital bed. crying, saying you aren't supposed to bury a child, you aren't supposed to bury a child. my dad was 58. and it was still so hard for my grandma to understand.

how do you say goodbye to two young men who barely had the chance to live? i picture these boys mother's having to tell their child goodbye. both of them taken so suddenly and not getting the chance to say goodbye and i love you one last time.

so tonight, i let my kids stay up later. i hugged them a little tighter. i kissed them a little longer. and i look at them and i am scared.

i pray that no one else has to go through what these families are facing right now.

both of these families are made of good people. good people that have had terrible, horrible, rotten things happen to them. i know i don't know the big picture, but the piece that i see right now sucks.

tara

unnerware

2009-06-29T16:42:00.002-05:00

lee and i have been trying to get payton to wear unnerware (underwear). this is the conversation payton and i just had.

payton: no unnerware, biaper
mommy: you don't need a diaper
payton: yes biaber
mommy: do you need underwear?
payton: no
mommy: do you need to be nakie?
payton: no
mommy: do you need a hug from mommy?
payton: no
mommy: do you need...
payton: i neeeeeeeeed ....a biaper.

this could be difficult.

tara

tayte update

2009-06-26T14:36:00.003-05:00

so tayte's official diagnosis was he had a seizure. we don't know the cause of it and may never know. he fell out of a golf cart on saturday and hit his head pretty good. one doctor said it could be related another thought 4 days was a long time to have something manifest.

one thing i learned through this was that every sign you have ever been told about head injuries are not absolute. he showed not signs of anything, no unconsciousness, no vomiting, no head aches, and he remembers everything about the fall and the time after. so 4 days later he has his seizure, not the 24 hours that most think are the hours of concern.

how he reacted during his seizure was also something lee and i had never thought about. he didn't start shaking like we thought. he just kinda spaced out, couldn't focus on us for long. he couldn't speak no matter how hard he tried to get the words out. his speech was slurred and he had to fight to get the words out. there also was a long pause every time he was asked a question. it was definitely hard for the question to process and for him to get his answer out.
his right arm hung to his side, he was swaying from side to side, he was not able to keep his eyes in one place and he couldn't walk steady. it reminded me of all the things you here about a stroke victim having, but really can a 5 year old have a stroke?

right now he is as normal as he has ever been, with one exception: he cried when he couldn't jump on the trampoline. usually we have to force him outside to play, but maybe this change will stick. all his speech and motor skills are back to normal. we will never know what the cause was unless he has another seizure. then they will treat him for that other than a one time thing.

i am grateful that he really doesn't remember much about it. i asked him that first night if he knew why he was in the hospital. "i was trying to make my words and they wouldn't let me." he doesn't remember being in pain and he doesn't remember all the prepping the nurses did when we first got there. he was such a trooper throughout the whole thing. he did tell one nurse after she took his vitals for about the 4th time, "you've already done that." he really doesn't forget much.

tara

according to baylee

2009-06-25T13:14:00.002-05:00

i really like the hospital because of 3 things.
1. the food-not usually high on people's lists of favorite places to eat
2. you gets lots of visitors
and
3. the video games- while tayte was getting his mri they brought in a playstation. so baylee is in hog heaven.

tara

here we are again

2009-06-24T20:45:00.003-05:00

the hospital. i really wish we could go a good looooooonnnnnnggggg time before we have to be here again.

today has been the scariest day of my parenting life. we have made a emergency room trip with payton, but that was completely different. with payton we were acting on the "what if" and trying to be proactive. today we were acting on the "something is going on and we need to figure out what."

i left the house without the boys because i woke up late. lee wasn't going to work until later so he was going to bring them into town to me later. his original plan was to head up just in time to go to his lunch with a client. for some reason they left earlier. lee was going to take the boys to get a donut. when he got to town he noticed that tayte was acting funny. he was making noises and trying to find a place to rest his head. he stopped at washington street and was getting on to tayte because he thought tayte was just being a normal kid and ignoring him. but then tayte started screaming uncontrollably lee pulled him out of his seat and tried to comfort him. nothing worked. lee called me and told me something was wrong and he was getting me and we were going somewhere.

i got in the car and tayte looked bad. he had a glossed over look in his eyes. he could focus on me. he could move his head in my direction when i told him to look at me but couldn't keep looking at me. i asked if he hurt and he could barely mumble a "yeah" but really more like he was breathing out, not talking at all. i asked where he hurt but got no real answer. his right arm hung by his side and he couldn't keep his body upright. he leaned on me the rest of the ride. we went to his pedi's office. he could walk a little but was not steady on his feet.

we went to the dr's office because i felt more confident with them because they know him and all my concerns with him. at the time i wasn't sure if that was the right choice, but am glad i chose that. the only problem was of course we got the new girl behind the counter. talking to her i thought i had made the wrong choice. apparently she didn't get the urgency. i understand that there are things you have to do, but when you have to repeat everything you say it gets extremely frustrating. she went to the back and talked to the nurse. as soon as carmen saw him you could see in her eyes she knew there was a problem. dr williams looked at him and within a couple of minutes she said we needed to go to the hospital. she asked if he could walk and he tried to take the most wobbly steps i have ever seen. we went to bsa and they within a few minutes were filling out the paperwork to get in a room.

while filling out the paperwork tayte looked at payton and yelled that he wasn't playing the game right. i have never been so happy to hear one of the boys yell at the other in my life. but that joy was short lived. we went to a treatment room so they could start all the poking and prodding they needed to do. tayte was such a trooper. he cried very little when they put in the iv. he could still not talk very well. he could name some people but then not be able to name them. at one time i was baylee. when we got to the icu room the nurse had to ask who baylee was.

he went for a cat scan and that came back normal. we came back to the room and he slept for quite a while. he is in an icu room so he can be monitored more closely.

so right now is just a waiting game and no real answers as to what caused his behavior earlier. and he is not acting like the kid we brought in earlier. he is acting like himself. he is watching his favorite movie bolt and repeating all his favorite parts. he is wiggling in bed and being loud and rowdy.

as i sit here tonight i am grateful. that is hard to comprehend even for me. how can you sit in a hospital room and be grateful. the are so many things that could be worse. we have been in this room all day and watched so many nurses and doctors going in and out of the room next door. we have been left pretty much alone. so no pestering is good.

lee is at home with baylee and payton. payton even as young as he is understands some of what is going on. he was gone when we left to get the cat scan and was so excited to see tayte when we came back. baylee is having a hard time with the whole ordeal. he has only known people to go to hospitals and die. he started crying and told me, "i hope what happened to papa doesn't happen to tayte." he saw the sock they put on tayte's arm and started to cry. the sock is there to keep the iv from being pulled out. but baylee had his own ideas of what that is. baylee called tayte tonight to talk to him. to tell him he loves him and to make sure he is ok. after he talked to tayte i talked to him for a while. baylee was concerned and asked me if tayte was his normal self. baylee my gentle heart is too wise for his 8 years.

today has been long. but today ended a good day. be careful what you pray for because it may end up happening but the road may not be the path you wanted.

thank you to everyone who came by, called, sent well wishes. most of all thank you for the prayers.

tara

the things tayte says

2009-06-18T14:16:00.002-05:00

tayte: mom, can i sit in your lap
me: no
tayte: i love you
me: i love you too
tayte: so that means i can sit in your lap?

tayte: baylee can i have a hug
baylee: yes
tayte: when you squeeze someone you say, "and i can just squeeeeeze"

he comes up with some of the funniest things. they may not be funny to anyone but me, but maybe that is because we have the same sense of humor.

tara

pool time

2009-06-13T19:25:00.004-05:00

we haven't been spending as much time at the pool as we would like, that darned weather just isn't cooperating. but we did go hang out today. lee met us up there and that makes for the perfect time to take pictures. i don't have to watch to make sure one of them isn't drowning and get to take their pictures.

payton's thing this year is to "walk" the pool. he probably would go the entire way around the pool if he ever figures out there is more on the other side of the ladder. he moves one hand to the side then the second to beside the first. then over, beside, over, beside until he gets from the steps at the 3 foot to the ladder at the 6 foot.

story of my life, payton running away from me.

tayte has discovered jumping in. i am so glad because that is when they have the most fun. each and every time he jumps in from the side he yells "i believe i can fly." comes up out of the water wipes his face and does it again.

it looks like he is praying, but really he is "diving" i think. he puts his hands like this and then jumps in feet first.

baylee has decided that playing the various big kid games, most involving a football, are the most fun and the best way to occupy his time while at the pool. he is getting too big, too quick. just the other day i swear he was scared of the water. now he hangs out with the big kids and plays all those big kid games. but luckily for me he reminds me "no matter how big i get i will always be your baby." yes i have told him that a time or two hundred.

he was so proud of himself after this. "i swam the whole way and didn't hold my nose." lee has been giving him grief about that. i don't blame him i was the same way. i hate water in my nose.

we love hanging out at the pool. this year's goal: get tayte off the diving board. he might just do it.

tara

that's ok...

2009-06-05T17:45:00.002-05:00

the other night tayte was climbing down from the bathroom sink and he scraped his stomach. i asked if he was ok and he told me yes. i looked at him and he had stuck his finger in his mouth to lick his finger. then he rubbed that on his hurt stomach.

later that night he came up to me and told me he had hit his head (he is a little clumsy... ok a lot clumsy). i asked if i need to kiss it and he told me, "that's ok i will just like it). so i guess a lick is just as good as a kiss to make an owie feel better.

only tayte.

tara

tayte's graduation

2009-06-02T15:53:00.003-05:00

panhandle doesn't have a kindergarten graduation, so this was our first time going through graduation with a child. i almost got choked up.

he looks so handsome.

i was very afraid that he wasn't going to walk down the aisle to the stage. he stopped twice to look at everyone and with nudging from his teacher he finally made it down to the stage. when he got up there he stood. they sang 7 or so songs and and tayte sang one and then stood the rest of the time. that was the first time i heard him sing all year. everytime i asked him about the songs at school he says they are too hard and he can only do them in his classroom. he messed with his lips, hit his ear with his hand. did everything to show that he was not enjoying this at all. then out of the blue he fell off the stands. one of his teachers was standing on the side of the stage so she helped him up without much fuss. if you ask him about graduation he will tell you "and i fell." the sad part is that it didn't even phase him that he fell. he didn't really care.

here he is getting his diploma.

afterwards they came out to the seats to find their parents. he had his diploma like this for the final song and the kid behind him kept telling him, "tayte stop it." lee wanted him to sing more. i was just glad that he stayed up there the whole time. he really doesn't like things like this, but he was a trooper.

tara

foam soap

2009-06-02T15:15:00.004-05:00

ok, we got some of that bath and body works foam soap. i thought it was crap because i couldn't get it to spray. i tried and tried but finally put it under the cabinet and left it there ( i have issues with throwing things out-i think in a past life i lived in the great depression). so payton found it and got it to work. i think there was too much stuff in there and when enough was pushed out you could shake it and really get it to work. we have 2 more bottles to test my theory.

here are some pictures of the boys with this stuff. it really is kinda cool.

here payton is shooting it at tayte.

tayte was not too happy about having it in his head.

payton thought it was cool to have it on his head.

here is a blob of the soap.

then i set the bottle down and it took on a life of its own. and it would not stop spraying for a long time.

tara

pee wee track meet

2009-06-02T14:44:00.003-05:00

every year panhandle has the pee wee track meet. this is serious business, they keep records and everything.

baylee is halfway down the line here. he is running either the 50 or 75 yard dash. the kid would have a better chance of getting in the top 20 if he could run a straight line. he is not the quickest kid, but he has the heart to be good.

each kid has to pick 3 field events. this year baylee chose softball throw, bean bag toss, and hoola hoop. he had lots of fun which explains the lack of ribbons won. last year he did the frisbee toss and the wind caught it and it hit me while i was taking pictures. this year he chunked a softball at me, so maybe last year's wasn't an accident like i thought.

he got 4th in the hoola hoop contest, 3rd gets a ribbon. i had no idea he could hoola hoop.

the pre-k went out to watch the festivities. it was really funny because his teacher has a first grader. when she ran by all the kids jumped up, went to the side of the track, and cheered her on. then they all went and sat down on their letter.

baylee loving on payton. no matter what baylee can't get enough hugs from his brothers. he doesn't care that he is in front of all his friends at school.

they also had their teacher tie-dye their shirts. they went around all day calling themselves the cheese team.

and of course the day ended with popsicles while they waited in the stands for the relays.

lee left with the other two boys so baylee and i walked home. every "flower" that baylee found he picked for me. i ended up with quite a bouquet by the time we got home.

enjoy

tara

i didn't fall off the face of the blogosphere

2009-06-02T14:21:00.003-05:00

it has been forever since i have posted anything, but that is because we have been busy (you'll see from all the posts that will follow).

to start off we had the boy scout cake auction. since this was our first one we (i) went overboard. i decided that i was out of my mind and was going to make an upright cake, i have never baked an upright cake. and i have never decorated a cake with icing except for the generic cover the top.

so i saw this rocket cake in a cookbook and decided that i was going to try to make it. here i proof that i made it myself.

baylee helped because it was for boy scouts. he wasn't too thrilled about putting the red hots on the cake but he did it without too much complaining.

here is the finished cake. that is a clear cup that makes the "cockpit" for the star wars guys.

the money that is made goes to help send the boys to camp. they had a lot of cakes, but not to many buyers. we bought 3 cakes. our cake went for the most $160. yes i was bidding on it too. the other cake in this picture went for $150. most of the other cakes were going for $30-40. they did end up making over $1000, so not too bad. i was super excited, i wanted my cake to go for the most. now i have to come up with one for next year.

tara

nutrition adventure

2009-05-11T17:07:00.004-05:00

i told you we have been busy.

this is the last post for the day. and i will try to keep up. the last week of april until about now is so crazy busy at the store that i barely have time to think.

so nutrition adventure day is the last "wellness wednesday" of the year. each year they do a carnival type event that the kids have to go to each station before they can get their snack and call it done. there are several things the kids have to do. and yes most of them are with real food.

tic tac toe lemon toss

cucumber javalon throw

bell pepper toss

apple toss

grapefruit shot put

coconut bowling

melon weight lifting

potato sack race

tayte fell and was behind so the senior boy grabbed him, made him do super leaps so he could win.

carrot hop

strawberry race

then they have to put the foods on cards in the right place on the food pyramid.

then they can have their snack, but they also have to tell what food group it is in.

so i tell my kids not to play with their food and then they spend the whole day playing with food. this year baylee caught on and told me, "mom, i'm playing with the food." great. and i volunteer for this gig.

since we were up at the school we ate lunch with baylee and then the boys played outside. baylee waited at the swings yelling tayte's name so they could swing together. i am so proud of baylee. when most other kids would not want their kid brother bothering them baylee yells for him to come be with him. times like this i think lee and i must be doing something right.

tara

world's biggest bunk bed

2009-05-11T16:54:00.003-05:00

we just got the world's biggest bunk bed. or at least i think it is the biggest bunk bed. it is a full over full with a twin trundle. we spent just as much on the mattresses as we did on the bed itself. then we had bought new clone wars bedding. the boys loved the surpise, they didn't know that they were getting the clone wars sheets and comforters.

baylee never would stay put long enough to get a good picture.

i thought this would be the last time payton would be on the top because he hated it so much. but that night when we were going to sleep he decided to climb up and give tayte and baylee a kiss goodnight, twice.

woohoo. the first time he did this he hit the fan. that is the big fear. so wish us luck.

tara

tayte turns 5

2009-05-11T16:21:00.004-05:00

it is hard to believe that i now have 2 children over the age of 5. when we were at church yesterday father called all those who had a birthday that week to come to the front. first he had a hard time pronouncing tayte's name. he couldn't see how you could get tayte out of t-a-y-t-e. tayte was very excited to show everyone that he is a whole hand.

opening one of the many money filled cards.

his excited look after opening his new black ds. (this is the gift that keeps on giving because payton got tayte's old ds.)

after church we went to toys r us so he could get his raving rabbids tv video game he has been wanting. he also had enough money to get mario party ds. so 2 video games later we were leaving with one happy little boy. he had to put back the mario guy because he didn't have enough money. he really didn't have enough for the 2 games he got but lee and i pitched in.

i love these pictures. they are such an example of tayte's personality. sitting in toys r us looking at the video games. i wonder what is going through his head.

he is eating chocolate cake. he wanted birthday cake so while we were eating at chili's we let him pick the dessert. he picked the molten chocolate thing, but only had 2 bites. go figure.

this year tayte had very specific plans for his birthday: i want birthday cake in the living room with my friends and then we can play wii. remember this is the kid that nevers says anything. now if we can get him to change so we can have one party with his friend mackie. that way the moms can divide and conquer the party planning.

he is getting his birthday spankings here. every kid in class clapped and counted to five and one to grow on.

another thing he was very specific on was to have twinkies in class. don't know where that one came from. but he had them and loved throwing them at the kids in his class. one kid even told me "mrs. tayte, thanks for the snack." i think i make a good mrs. tayte.

in five years tayte has changed so much. he has always been a happy kid. even more so lately. he finds the simplest things funny. i love that about him. he sees something and belts out a large rolling laugh. he has grown so much in the last year. his speech is leaps and bounds better than when he started school. there is still room for improvement, but lots to be proud of. he is a kind caring kid. he truly tries to make his brothers happy. he is a great kid and i am lucky to share my mother's day festivities with him.

i love you tayte.

tara

mother's day

2009-05-11T15:10:00.003-05:00

we had a great mother's day. i hope all of you did as well.

we had a busy day: lot's of things to do and so little time. we went to church. i got a rose at church, which was way cool. after the boys got out of class we went to amarillo. it was tayte's birthday as well so we let him go spend his birthday money, so off to toys r us we went. for some strange reason there weren't many people at toys r us, i wonder why:) then to acadamy for baseball stuff for the boys, the season is starting and we need to be ready. then we went to eat. we put our name in and went to walmart to look for a video game. is it me or does anyone else notice a theme of this day revolving around boys and not the mother? after we ate we went to get mattresses for the new bunk bed set the boys got. finally, another trip to walmart to get twinkies for tayte to take to school. and a stop at gamestop to look for the same game that we looked for at the first walmart stop. then back home.

i really did have a great mother's day. the day started with payton laying in bed with me and asking if i would "cuddle me." you really can't beat that. baylee and tayte had made crafts at school.

tayte made a flower with his picture in the center.

baylee made a plate that says you this is what you remind me of a sweet summer's day. baylee had is teacher send a note home that they could only give to their dad's asking for $10 to get the plate made. pretty impressive. and a also got a kindle. i have been wanting one since i saw rachael's. i used to read a ton, but haven't made the time like a should. so, since lee thinks this is the worst gift he could have given me i have to prove him wrong. he thinks it is a waste of money. i downloaded my first book, michael j. fox's "always looking up: the adventures of an incurable optimist." there are several books i have been wanting to read, i'm just to lazy to go somewhere to get them. the kindle and me a perfect match. ask me again later if i am still using it. hehe.

tara

ps. all the pictures used here were taken by baylee and tayte.

someone is using all my tampons

2009-04-22T21:50:00.002-05:00

i never thought i would have to worry about someone using my tampons. but, i do. payton has decided it is his mission in life to open every tampon i own and pull them apart. i walked into the playroom today to check on him and found the box of tampons. paper, applicators, and cotton everywhere. it looked like a war zone. at least he left me a few.

tara

a little clarification

2009-04-22T21:48:00.002-05:00

i guess i should have been more specific when i said i wanted people to leave comments on my blog. i should have said, "i would love for people to leave comments in english, on my blog." so if anyone is fluent in spanish (i believe the message is in spanish) and can translate that message i would love it. thanks.

tara

1st, 3rd, and youngest

2009-04-18T21:53:00.004-05:00

we walked away today with 1st place in the wolf division, 3rd place in the outlaw (those not in boy scouts) division, and a trophy for the youngest racer. baylee had said that if we won a trophy they could share. so when we won 3 the boys were super excited.

our trophies and cars

baylee and tayte watching the big "screen" with the times. it really was the the side of the barn

they had to countdown before each race "3,2,1...go" and payton counted down each time.

everyone with their trophies

everyone who raced

baylee's car is number 8 and payton's the yellow one right next to it. lee worked hard on those cars and his hard work paid off. he was happy. but the part that made him the happiest was how excited tayte got. tayte doesn't get really excited about many things, so when he does we are all happy.

tara

100th post, 100 things about me

2009-04-17T20:32:00.002-05:00

here goes... hopefully you learn something new about me and you don't get board in the process.

my full name tara brooke conrad ogletree
i was born november 9, 1977
i am the third child of six
my favorite color is blue
i attended 11 schools or colleges
my bachelor degree is in general studies (lame i know)
i graduated from wtamu (waste of time and money university-no offense to anyone, my personal opinion) on august 19, 2002
i started teaching high school math later that week-i was hired after they had already started the year so i missed a couple of in-service days
i have worked as a babysitter, waitress, daycare teacher, soda jerk, pharmacy tech, cashier at a grocery store, manager of 2 departments at that grocery store, math teacher, and finally own my own scrapbook store
i met lee on his birthday march 12, 1995
i was a junior in high school
we got married august 22, 1998
i wasn't even legal to drink at my own wedding
we have been married almost 11 years-most of those have been amazing, the rest good, one not so sure
we had our first son, baylee kyler ogletree february 28, 2001
our second son, tayte konrad ogletree may 10, 2004
our third son, payton konner ogletree august 25, 2006
i miss my dad every day
i really enjoy scrapbooking
i hope to build a house one day
that day will be after lee and i get out of debt because i don't want to have to skimp on the things i want
i love my kids more than anything in the world (equally as much as lee just differently)
i love how everyone starts a blog the same way, some version of "well here goes..."
i wish more people would leave comments on my blog
i need to be better about leaving comments on blogs
i watch entirely too much tv
i enjoy playing board games with my kids, or really anyone that will play
my favorite actors are john travolta and robin williams
i listen to all types of music, but right now prefer country
i still have some of the toys from my childhood
the first record i ever owned was toni basil "mickey"
i played basketball in high school
when i was a freshman we won state (in the private school league) and i got to play in the game
i was the starting point guard my sophomore year (not my favorite position and i got it by default, i was the only one who could dribble decently)
i won the mustang award that year-the highest athletic honor you could get-others nominated were a senior girl (she played volleyball-the other sport offered-and a senior) and a junior girl- i didn't think i had a snowball's chance of winning
since i didn't think i would win i didn't prepare a speech. i had to give one and cut it short when i looked at my dad and saw him crying
when i first went to ut i thought i had lost my mind and was sick for the first week-then realized it was the best decision i had made that far
i graduated 4th in my high school class of 56
i hate cleaning my house
my favorite food is a hamburger and fries
i am a self proclaimed smart ass
one of my favorite movies is "what dreams my come"
i think i believe in past lives
i stopped going to church when i was in college
i started back when we moved here and i wanted to make sure my kids grew up in the church
i wear contacts-glasses since kindergarten, contacts since high school
my parents never gave me a car, they let me drive one when i was at home
i went to college without a car
i wear jeans almost daily
my favorite dessert is a powerful towerful-minus the strawberries add extra bananas and nuts- from malcolm's
i want to see the lion king on broadway
the beaches of mexico are my favorite vacation spot
i tried to get published in a scrapbook magazine-actually it was a contest- so maybe i should try a smaller
i want an amazon kindle
i want to go to cku (scrapbook thing)
i suck at name that song games, really any type of trivia like that
my goal is to be completely out of debt in less than 5 years
i hope to be able to keep my kids out of the same mistakes i have made
in 3 years i will have been with lee for half my life
my favorite donut is a raspberry filled
i hate shopping for clothes
i hate being cold-which i am most of the time
i am allergic to penicillin and sulfa drugs
i hope to have a fourth child
since i got my iphone i have become a texting fool
i am not very tolerant of stupid people
i joined facebook and now am addicted
people never cease to amaze me
my teacher's certification had expired so if i ever go back to teaching i will have to retake the tests
i only had one semester of calculus in college-i dropped the second semester once
i don't like oatmeal-i think it is the texture thing
i sleep too much
i am very stern with my kids
i used to read all the time as a kid
when i build my house i want a hot tub outside-with an door from my bedroom
i sometimes wonder if i have conrad blood because i am not a big fan of beer
i love the time i spent with my grandma learning how to make stockings
i have made 2 stockings and need to make payton's so we can all have one
making stockings is not my favorite thing
sometimes i wish i was more patient with my kids
i love taking pictures of our everyday lives
i hang on to stuff for too long
i have had one garage sale and it will be the only one-i will give everything else away
i am proud of all the things lee has done and grateful to be along for the ride
i am proud of my kids and all the things they have done
i hope to instill a sense of desire in my kids-to always want more for themselves, to always do better
i need to learn how to say no
i hope someone invents time travel
i want to take the kids on a disney cruise
i do not like the outside
my husband thinks i have a great ass
i can't go anywhere in a car without falling asleep unless i am driving
i didn't go to my eighth grade graduation
i have read all the harry potter books
i'm not a big fan of flying
i graduated high school in 1996
i don't remember the last movie i saw in a theatre it has been that long
i will not drink wine ever again
when i couldn't sleep i would lay in bed and think about what to type
this wasn't as bad as i thought it would be-i think it only took me a little over an hour

hope you enjoyed

tara

big day tomorrow

2009-04-17T20:27:00.002-05:00

tomorrow is the pinewood derby. the boys (i mean lee) has been working on these cars for weeks. he wants them to be perfect. he has studied the best things to do to improve your car. he works on them everynight for hours. he has a baby wipes box with a board on it to make sure the cars drive straight. all the boys are supposed to be helping but they are watching tv. baylee grabs the car and hands it back to lee so he can adjust the wheels.

so, tomorrow afternoon our lives go back to normal. will post more about that in a few days.

tara

p.s. my next post will be my 100th post, i have noticed you are supposed to say 100 things about yourself (hence the major slowdown on posting). but i think i am ready. wish me luck, i may start it tonight.

a conversation with tayte

2009-04-12T20:59:00.002-05:00

tayte's birthday is in less than a month. i was asking him what he wanted for his birthday and this is our converstion:

what do you want for your birthday
sonic and the dark knights and sonic the hedgehog...for the wii
oh, where do you get those?
from the place we were
where's that?
that place where they have games
and what is that place? (he doesn't give much information easily)
the place that has games and you and dad don't work there. where those guys are
what guys?
the workers
what's the name?
toys r us or walmart
is that all walmart has? (i wanted to see what he would say)
no they has walmart stuffs

and that was the end. walmart stuffs.

tara

basketball is here

2009-04-06T23:01:00.005-05:00

baylee is playing in the k thru 2 basketball again this year. he has played every year since kindergarden and lee has been his coach every year. he is finally the big guy on the team and he played like it. in their first game he scored a basket. an actual, through the hoop basket earning his team 2 points. these kids play on high school regulation goals, so if the ball hits the rim it is one point if it goes through 2 points. i am so proud of how much baylee has improved. he definitely acted like the older player. plus this year lee really pushed him and practiced with him daily. he was super aggressive and stole the ball and knocked it away from the other kid.

baylee at tip off. this will never happen again. have you seen this kid's parents? baylee actually tipped it and it went to our team #2.

baylee bringing the ball down. lee really tried to get him to drive in more.

baylee hustling down court.

tayte watching, insisting on hanging over the rail.

tayte and payton both watching and insisting on hanging on the rail. i really hope that when they build the new gym the stands are floor level. i have a love/hate relationship with that rail. i love it for safety, but hate it for several reasons. the boys love to hang on it and it makes me nervous and the boys love to sit on the bottom row and the danged thing is always in my picture taking way.

payton having enough and wanting to go down with lee.

baylee's team lost the first game, won the second and lost the last. but, baylee got a medal it was a "bronze color" according to baylee.

tara

day in the life of payton

2009-04-01T18:26:00.006-05:00

payton never stops. ever. this is some of what happened today.

after picking tayte up from school i told the boys i was taking a bath. payton saw this as his chance. i come downstairs and this is what i find.

he managed to take 1 bite out of 6 apples or more. i don't know why he has to eat out of every apple we have in the house. he bites them and then spits the skin out on the floor. so not only is every apple eaten out of there is apple skin everywhere. everyone had an apple for an afternoon snack.

there is now a belt on the fridge door to keep him out.

i walked past the boys room and heard a noise. i stopped in to see what was going on. i saw payton at their bookshelf reading.

as soon as he saw me he wanted to get closer.

so he sat on the floor. i laid down to get a better angle and he copied me.

he read the book front to back. he scooted closer everytime i tried to get farther back to get a better picture.

here is the page he read to me: "mountain, kirkle, gape" translation: mountain, circle lake, gate.

tara

stuck in

2009-03-28T22:02:00.007-05:00

yesterday we were stuck inside. lee had been pestering me to keep the store closed. they keep saying it is going to be bad. when i woke up yesterday i heard the sleet hitting my windows. plus they had closed pantex. if they didn't want people going to pantex then who in their right mind would go to a scrapbook store. panhandle by the way did not cancel school. i think we were one of the few places that didn't, but they did let all the kids go at noon. that meant that lee went to pick up tayte at 11 and then had to be back up there at noon to get baylee. lee did manage to go the the grocery store and taylors after picking up both kids because he forgot something at both stops the first time.

so, since we were stuck inside all day i got a lot of things done: washed 1 load of regular laundry, 4 loads of sheets and put them back on the beds, cooked 2 meals (both of them without meat-that was tough lee and i really wanted stew), watched grey's anatomy with lee, played board games with the little boys, and spent hours in lego hell. i have put this blasted thing together 3 times now. i think it took me a good 6-8 hours, i swear it has a million pieces and we are only missing like 6 this time. it is going on a shelf never to be taken down again, so help me.

today, as everyone has said the snow was short lived. we went to amarillo for a fundraiser (sorry, rebecca i didn't know about it when i talked to you). and spent a couple of hours at jump-n-jive. the boys really had a good time after being cooped up all day yesterday. we took archer with us and some of the people kept looking at him and then they would see payton and that really freaked them out. baylee got his face painted camouflaged and the guy who did it was pretty good. tayte found the biggest slide and spent the majority of the time there. payton and archer both stayed at one place for 2 minutes and then moved on to the next thing. lee and i chased the 2 little ones around. archer kept telling every kid "no no" when they went where he was going. we left with one 3 fits, 1 cookie, 3 brownies, 1 bag of cotton candy, 7 hot dogs (8 if yu count the one that fell), and no owies, not to bad if you ask me.

one of the 3 fits. he is gonna love that one later in life. or is it me that will love it later in life?

this is the little slide that tayte found, not the one he spent most of the day. the best was when he put is hood on and went down the slide 50 times that way. he was yelling "cannonball" we hear that a lot at our house.

baylee was a great big brother at jump-n-jive. he kept helping payton up this slide as many times as payton wanted.

payton would yell cannonball and go head first down this slide, with baylee quickly following and crashing into him.

here is archer he really loved this bouncer. i didn't post the picture with his fit.

we had to hurry home so we could play in the quickly melting snow. we usually have snow long after everyone else's has melted away, but not today. it was all melting fast.

camo baylee throwing snowballs at lee (i think this could be the first ever camo painted snowball fight, he got painted for war.)

lee getting one of the boys.

lee had thrown a snowball at lee and if fell in baylee's hood.

here is tayte throwing a snowball at lee. i love to see tayte smile. when he smiles you just really see the joy.

payton showing me his snowballs. he has been wearing this hat a lot lately and it cracks me up. one minute he has it down like this over his eyes and the next he has it up resting on his head.

payton and tayte going at it. i think they are so close in age that they don't remember life without the other and they do so much together. lee and baylee were at it and these two went off on their own and took a slower approach to snowball fighting.

we didn't stay outside long. the wind was still freezing. but we all had fun and that is what matters.

tara

waiting

2009-03-26T19:56:00.002-05:00

i am patiently waiting for lots of things. today, though i am waiting for the blizzard that is about to hit us.

it is hard form me to believe that we are about to be bombarded with snow. the sun has been shining all day, it is warm. yes, every person that has walked in the store today has mentioned the snow. colorado is covered, kansas is blanketed. really it has to run out sometime. i am hoping that it runs out before it hits us. i am also annoyed with the fact that aisd closed school before a single flake fell. really... really. i worked for the district and remember walking to my classes in snow. i am annoyed by that. i hope it snows 2 flakes and then is done.

tara

i have been busy

2009-03-25T21:00:00.004-05:00

first of all i can't believe how much time has passed since my last posts. we have been super busy in this house and i just haven't taken the time to post anything.

last weekend i hung out with some friends and had a blast. we spent the entire time scrapping, talking, and just plain having the best time. i really needed to get away and get some scrapping done. rachael was giving me a hard time because i was abandoning my kids. first, i know their father is completely capable of caring for them. so i never worry about them while i am gone. secondly, i spend the entire time surrounded by pictures of them so i am constantly thinking about them. thirdly, i firmly believe that when i get a break like that i come home ready to be more patient with them and therefore a better mother.

i got 27 pages done. that is a lot for me. i was sooooo happy with several of my pages. so here are my favorites. i apoligize the lighting in the room was not the best so these are not the best pictures (one day i will invest in a scanner, but until then these will have to do). i hope you enjoy these pages as much as i do. and yes, some of these pictures are old.

tayte swinging in our backyard. the blue letters were just extras i was trying to use up i saw this idea in a magazine and liked the look.

this photo is lee, baylee, tayte, grandma, and me at the farm a couple of years ago.

baylee's suit(tuxedo as he calls it) for his first communion

baylee drew dad a picture while he was in the hospital. he put on it remember the good times and the picture had the two of them fighting with lightsavers (that is what baylee calls them).

baylee read this and i asked him if i say any of these things. "like everyone of them."

i always wonder what babies and little kids think.

again sorry about the colors it doesn't really do the pages justice.

tara

lee

2009-03-12T00:17:00.002-05:00

he is...

the man i was supposed to fall in love with.
the one i will spend the rest of my life with.
the reason my life is complete.
the father that i want for my children.
the provider of many things.
the caring compassionate person that all people should strive to be.
the man i hope my children become.
the one who has helped me through many things all these years.

he is one year older.

happy birthday.

i am a better person because i met you 14 years ago today. i love you forever and a day.

tara

when i die....

2009-03-12T00:12:00.002-05:00

as time goes on there are things that bug the fire out of me and i want it to be known that there are certain things i don't want.

if i should die on the road do not put flowers or crosses on the side of the road. please do not make all my places traveled be referenced by the last spot. that bugs me.
do not put rip tara on your car with shoe polish. if you feel the need to put my name on your car (which i hope you don't) at least use some type of vinyl so it isn't on there halfway and washed partly when it rains.
also i probably will be scared to death. i don't want to die alone so please be loud and let me know you are there. i hate the quite.

these are the big ones and know this... i will come back and haunt you if you do any of these.

tara

pokemon fever

2009-03-12T00:06:00.002-05:00

i thought pokemon died years ago, but i am sadly mistaken. pokemon has taken over this house. it is an obcession that infects all three little boys. it is sad many of them know the names of several of the pokemon.

the other day baylee was telling me something about pokemon. this is what i got:

....evolves......level......i can't believe he isn't evolved yet......that is so crazy....evolves....i need to catch.....and his super powers are....

when i told baylee i didn't understand anything he was saying he looked at me rolled his eyes and then spoooookkkkkeeee veeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyy slllllllooooooowwwwwwllllllyyyyyy to his idiot mother and went through the whole thing again. "now do you understand?"

no. but i at least listened like i cared and that is what matters to him, right?

tara

maybe just maybe

2009-03-11T23:29:00.005-05:00

i tried pharmacy school-correction, i had thought about pharmacy school. i started the pre-reqs for pharmacy school and decided that chemistry and i were not friends. so i went on to other things.

see how much fun he is having. maybe....

the other day we were at the pharmacy, tayte and his friend mackie were playing pharmacy. for those of you who don't know mackie's dad bought the pharmacy. mark and lee grew up together and have known each other their entire lives, so it is fun that their kids will have a similar experience.

anyway, i hope that maybe one day... maybe one day he will follow in papa's footsteps. he reminds me so much of my dad as it is.

maybe tayte will be a grown man counting pills for real.

and they were counting mints, not pills.

tara

what is the deal?

2009-03-11T23:23:00.002-05:00

i don't know what it is. if he hears the water running in he comes. does he feel the need to go in there while i take a bath? does he think i will get lonely and need someone to talk to while i bathe? well tonight i was really in for a surprise.

he decided he would help me get undressed. i have been doing that for a while now and i can handle it on my own. but he insisted he help.

and this is the night my 2 year old undressed me.

didn't see that one coming did you? he kept saying "heppa you." apparently he is more like his daddy than i thought, trying to get my clothes off.

but he did pick them off the floor and put them in the dirty clothes so i was excited about that. and no there are no pictures to document this event in our lives.

tara

"i had to go to the post office"

2009-03-04T20:36:00.002-06:00

tayte had a rough day today at school. they were playing on the playground someone started throwing sand then some kid threw a rock. this is what happened according to tayte:

some kid threw a rock at me. his name starts with a c.
and it hurt. that's why you don't throw rocks.
and i had to find my teachers, because there was blood.
i was crying.
and i had to go to the post office.

according to his teacher she doesn't do blood and grabbed him and ran to the nurse's office. he was crying but was very brave. she kept telling me she was sorry. i told her that if it had to happen to someone's kid she would want it to be a parent like me. that is when she told me that was what she was thinking because with 3 boys i was probably used to blood. i was thinking more along the lines that i am laid back and realize that 4 year olds throw stuff and eventually someone will get hurt. so i don't really throw fits about my kiddo not being watched.

tayte is doing fine now and it was a good thing that nurse clay was at the "post office".

tara

chicken legs

2009-03-03T20:00:00.002-06:00

aunt rachael said, "look at those chicken legs!"

payton's reply, "no, not chichi legs, apple feet."

no clue what that means but it was too funny.

tara

baylee turns 8

2009-02-28T23:31:00.006-06:00

it is hard to believe that my first born is eight. i swear that i was just pregnant with him. you always here that time flies, but you don't believe it until you witness it first hand. i am so proud of the young man he has become. he is smart, friendly, and will stick up for those he believes is the underdog. i am amazed at how loving and caring he is. i can't even begin to explain the feeling of joy he brings me everyday. i look at him and think that lee and i have done a pretty good job of parenting, but i also know that he is one of the easiest boys to parent. i am so excited that i see the young man i want him to be already forming before my eyes.

baylee is really into pokemon cards these days. he wants to trade them at school everyday. he was super excited to get so many.

he had a slumber party for his birthday. several people told me that i should rethink the whole idea. i am glad that he had that experience. it was a lot of work for lee and i but, i am glad he got to experience that birthday. we started the day at the park. the bigger boys played football, while the 2 little ones played on the slide. then we went to the house and they played the wii, legos and outside. lee was awesome at the party. he played with the boys, wrestling with them. i think they did get the better of him at the end. it all started with a pillow fight and ended up with everyone dogpiling lee. there was movies and popcorn. kids trying to beat the record of how long they stayed up. all in all it was a great party. i hope baylee was as happy as i was.

"i am king of the world!"

in true tayte fashion he was laying there like nothing was going on. there was a wild chaotic war zone going on and if you looked at tayte he was unphased.

payton did not like that fact that all these boys were attacking his daddy. he tried several times to help lee. either he was flinging his blanket or he finally grabbed a pillow and was trying to help lee. he even tried to pull lee out from under the huge pile of boys.

i got up and cooked breakfast like i always do for a birthday, only this time i had 5 extra mouths to feed. i made baylee's blueberry pancakes and it was a success. since i am lazy and only make them from the box several of the boys loved them because they didn't taste like blueberries.

the aftermath of cooking pancakes for 8 boys.

i think baylee had a great birthday.

tara

sweet payton

2009-02-23T14:44:00.003-06:00

i have been meaning to post this for a couple of days now, but i have been super busy.

a lot of the time i tell how onry payton is, but he does have a sweet side. the other night he was laying in bed with me. i was trying to sleep and he was watching tv. he was in no mood to sleep so he kept messing with me.

i felt a little hand under my chin. then i felt a soft kiss on my lips. he was so sweet.

"i wuz you."

he did that a couple of times and then rolled over and went to sleep.

tara

what do you do?

2009-02-19T22:23:00.002-06:00

baylee has gotten in the habit of not bringing his homework home. he is an excellent student. the only grade that is not above a 94 each six weeks is his handwriting, and if you ever saw his dad's handwriting you would understand. he is a great kid, but twice this week he hasn't brought home homework. since christmas break he has forgotten 5-7 times. lee and i are at our wits end trying to come up with something that works. the last idea i had was a highlighter for his assignment sheet. any suggestions would be appreciated.

exhausted,
tara

dogpile daddy

2009-02-18T20:25:00.004-06:00

lee and baylee started wrestling on the bed. i joined in trying to help baylee. payton thought it looked like fun so in he came. we yelled at tayte to come upstairs. finally he came and after lots of pleading he joined the fun. i yelled "dogpile daddy." we climbed on in order of age.

lee

me

baylee

tayte... at this point it was a large pile.

and, did payton make it on?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
yes payton climbed on.

lee commented on how much weight he added. apparently tayte thought the same thing because he said, "i should have climbed on last."

we need someone else around to take pictures.

tara

random sayings by the boys

2009-02-16T23:10:00.003-06:00

i have been meaning to post some of these for a while now.

payton:

pluh play = push play
mau milk = chocolate milk
fli fli = chocolate
frink pepier = drink of dr. pepper
had you = hold you

tayte:

wudie = movie
tayte is growing up so he is using big boy phrases: the other night baylee was pestering him so he looked at baylee and said "knock it off" we all started laughing because it was funny hearing that out of a little body

baylee:

he is really into music so he has been singing a lot lately, my favorite is beyonce's put a ring on it. i don't know if that is the title or not but that is what he was singing "if you liked then you shoulda put a ring on it, if you liked then you shoulda put a ring on it. oh oh oh..." that cracked me up.

i will add to this post later.

tara

brothers

2009-02-16T16:03:00.002-06:00

why is it that they boys can go from punching each other one minute to loving and hugging the next? they really do get along really well. they have been in a funk lately. i think that has to do with the bodily explosions (from both ends) that all the boys have had during the last week or so. they are better now, but there is the lingering whining that comes with being sick.

five minutes ago payton was hitting tayte. then payton fell and wanted me to hug him. so i was holding him and tayte decided he needed to be held. so i was holding both of them. payton didn't like that and wanted down, but after i started patting tayte's back payton decided he needed to help. he needed to love on tayte and hug him. i guess payton decides he needs to make up for being ugly and will love on tayte.

i really feel sorry for tayte. he is so much bigger than payton, but payton gets the best of him at least once a day. tayte doesn't liked to be screamed at and payton does it a lot, i think just to aggravate tayte. but, payton will try to be nice. he always wants to help wash tayte's hair, give him a cookie, or anything little like that.

i don't get brothers, they fight and then love. why does there have to be so much fighting?

tara

my grandma

2009-02-11T23:23:00.003-06:00

yesterday was a very weird day for me.

i had heard a rumor that my grandma had changed her will before she went to hospice. the whole idea of that put a huge knot in my stomach. i have always known my grandma to be a caring person. she always thought of others, every year i would get a birthday card in the mail before my birthday would arrive. but i never, never, expected anything from my grandma after she died. ok, truth be told i did expect something that she had made, it could have been a quilt, a crocheted tablecloth, or something along that nature. so to get a will in the mail was unsettling. to see my name along with my aunts and uncles made me stop. what made my grandma so concerned that she felt the need to make those changes. i believe that you work hard because that is what you should do, not because you need to leave something for your heirs. i never thought "well one day when my grandma dies..."

my biggest fear is that by her doing this, there is more harm done between family. i don't want anyone else to be angry at me.

but, i also needed this. i needed to know that someone cared that much for me that they felt the need to take care of me. i will be forever grateful to my grandma. not for what she left me, but for the what she did for me. she is the greatest example of what a woman should be, and i am lucky to be able to call her grandma. i am a better person for her being in my life. i have learned many things from my grandma. i hope to be the grandmother to my grandkids that she was to me. i hope when my challenge comes that i can be as selfless as she was. if not i did not fully learn her greatest lesson, compassion.

i love you grandma. i love you for the memories i have with you and for the memories you made with my children.

tara

my 2 worlds collide.

2009-02-09T21:18:00.003-06:00

it started with collecting (i have over 200 flair):

most of the flair that i have has some meaning. like the one above. i am omicron. the 15th greek letter. my family gave everyone one a greek name, whether they wanted it or not.

but then i had a friend make one.

it is so cute. i love that logo it is for this really great scrapbook store that i know.

and then i started making flair. this is not the best one but it is the only alamo sign i could find so it had to do.

so my world of blogging and my addiction to facebook have collided.

tara

ps. lee said i can't call him nerdy anymore. he says this takes the cake.

pps. i will be starting my 12 step flair program later.

eye dr round two

2009-02-04T14:34:00.002-06:00

i went back to the eye dr. because i couldn't see out of my left eye. that was because he ordered me a -6.5 and should have ordered a -8. how do you get that far off?
plus i had to order a new one for the right eye.

maybe one day i will be able to see straight again.

tara

who needs a pool?

2009-02-04T14:08:00.004-06:00

every once in a while the looks on the kids faces will outweigh the mess that is made and i will let chaos ensue. here is chaos at its finest. they had everything they needed: a slide, water and someone to enjoy the fun. it started with bubbles. tayte asked if they were taking a fast bath or slow bath. slow bath means toys. i decided to grab the bubbles, that started the excitement. they played in the bubbles for a while and then tayte got the brilliant idea to slide down. how he got it i am not quite sure, if he fell and then saw the opportunity. i will never know. the tub started 2 inches higher than it was when they finished, but thankfully there was not 2 inches of water on the floor. not sure where that went either. one towel was all it took to clean up. and if i had thought about it sooner i would have thrown it down at the end of the tub and there wouldn't have been anything to clean.

i am a strict mom and expect my kids to act a certain way. but i let them have fun. they took turns without me having to ask. they moved back so as to not get hit. and when i told them they each had one more slide, they took it and stopped. as crazy as this looks it wasn't the worst thing that could have been done.

now only if i had a tub big enough for me to do this.

tara

basketball program night

2009-02-04T13:44:00.004-06:00

last night we had baylee's basketball program. panhandle does this thing where each grade is given a night that they preform various basketball skills at one of the varsity games. as luck would have it we got the girls game. i think we always get the girls game. anyway it is the same program year after year just the kids get bigger. this year there was excitement. three kids didn't get basketballs passed out to them. for these kids it was more anxiety than excitement. it just so happened that baylee was one of these kids. the look on his face as he scrambled trying to find a ball. i felt so sorry for him, it is a packed gym especially because the girls are doing well. finally, he got a ball and they could start. he did really well, we were all so proud of him. he really likes basketball, which i am glad because it is an indoor sport. he has improved so much since last year. i guess that is the good thing about the same program, you really get to see their improvement from year to year.

chest pass while side-stepping

figure eight through legs

dribbling down the court to finish

they also moved the ball around their legs, head, and stomach. shot the ball up and caught it. that one always makes me laugh because baylee not wanting to do it wrong or lose his ball, barely throws it in the air.

this year was also easier for lee and i. the other boys actually sat down for the majority of the game. they did run around a little, but it wasn't like years past. which also makes me sad because that means they are growing up.

this is the same face from tayte from year to year. i am sure if i looked back at last years program i could find a picture just like this. he cracks me up.

tara

that's what i get for thinking

2009-02-01T01:14:00.002-06:00

a friend of mine gave me one of those $15 giftcard things for bath and body works. i think it is one of those that you get when you spend so much. she ended up with a lot and was not wanting to go back in again so she gave it to me. i walked in planning on getting their 3 for $20 special. as i walked to the back i noticed tubs full of stuff for $3. i put my first selection back and grabbed 5 of the $3 bottles. went to the register to pay and walked out not giving them a penny. these are the big bottles. the ones that usually cost $10-12 bucks. nothing, nada, zilch. this was my night.

and then we went bowling.

payton had my iphone to keep him busy. he did something and it froze up and wouldn't do anything. i went to get the boys some food. as i was walking down the stairs carrying the food i slipped. there were probably 10 steps. luckily i have ninja skills and ski-ed down the stairs managing to save 3 cheese sticks. the hot dog, chips, and other sticks were on the floor. half the ranch dressing was on me and the railing. but i didn't fall on my arse. really who puts stairs in a bowling ally. those shoes are slick. so i sat an pouted about my phone and food all over me. i went to bowl and the lights on the lane quit. i finished my turn and the lights came back on.

i did break 100. i suck at bowling, but i usually have fun so it doesn't matter that i stink.

i didn't break my neck. apparently a lot of people slip like that because the 2 guys at the counter were at my side muey pronto asking if i was ok. did i hurt myself. or else it just looked really ugly.

my iphone is working.

so i guess it wasn't that bad after all. it just stunk while i was in the middle of it.

tara

wii love playing wii

2009-01-31T17:13:00.003-06:00

we got super mario party for christmas and we have spent several nights playing it as a family. it really has been fun, except when it is a certain boy's turn he has to look at the map every time. he has to scroll the whole map, which in itself wouldn't be that big of a deal except that he is not the best with the wii remote, so it takes forever. he shall remain nameless (just look below).

plus, i have been deemed the worst player. that is not true. i am not the best and a lot of times i let the boys win to keep them playing. but when it is time for the mini games they groan if i am on their team. seriously.

this picture is payton hitting baylee. he is so mad at him for some reason. since they normally don't hit each other i had to take a picture of it. he was so mad and all i could do was laugh.

and i have to give my remote up to payton because he doesn't get one. that kid can play for only being 2.

mario party hates me too. no matter what map we play i get the raw end of the deal. that game always takes my stars, or i land on a red space, or it sends me to nowhere.

but we will keep playing. the boys love it. mostly.

tara