not the best mom

wellness wednesday. today it did not make me feel well. lee called me and asked if it was wellness wednesday. as soon as he asked my heart sank. i forgot and it was too late to go walk with tayte. lee tried to comfort me and told me tayte probably won't realize i am not there. i got ready and left to walk with baylee. when we got there i was told by several people that tayte was crying, but didn't know why. then one of the teachers told me that he was looking for me. i only thought my heart sank earlier.

when tayte got out of pre-k i asked him how school was.
"fine."
i asked if he cried.
"yes because i was looking for you and you weren't there."

if he asked for the moon today i would find a way to give it to him. i feel horrible. how do you make it up to a 4 year old kid who realized you weren't there? i try to always be there and i wasn't. today i was not my best mom, but tomorrow i will try to be better. today we went to nick and codums (toot n totums). so to my 4 year old all is right in the world.

tara

things change in the blink of an eye

history has been made. the 44th president is a black man. no woman yet, but after yesterday i believe that will happen in my lifetime. i am optimistic enough to believe that maybe this is what our country needs. for a long time our country has been divided. he may be the man to start the change, i know he can't do it all but it takes one man to begin the change. i hope for my kids sake he is that man, that he is the martin luther king jr. of my kids age. being white i have no real understanding of what black people have gone through. i do know that i personally didn't do anything and i want to meet in the middle and try to get past what our ancestors did. i am hoping that this man can help people meet in the middle. i have been listening off and on all day to what people have to say about this moment in history. how emotional people are getting. for a whole culture they can now believe the american dream is possible. they can be president. i am extatic for them. i was watching the view and whoopi made a comment that obama told kids to pull up their pants and that they may actually do it. i hope he can help these kids see the potential they are missing. she also made a comment that although she was born in the us she finally feels as if she can put her suitcase down. she feels like she has become part of the fiber of america. i desparately hope that he can be the change people are wanting. because if he can we will become a better america. and i am all for that.

baylee didn't take the news about the election results that well. we will have a talk this evening so hopefully he will feel better about it.

another change: lee got a promotion but it wasn't going to be in effect until the start of the year. well that changed. it started now and there will be lots of change for us. some good and some not so good. but i am super happy for lee. he works so hard and deserves every promotion he gets. he may be the big-shot company man he wants to be someday.

lots of changes. its a good thing the boys adjust well to change. some better than the others but we will make it. here is to a fun ride.

tara