Sunday, November 30, 2008
i really needed this day to put me in the spirit. i really dislike the holidays, even more after my dad died. i hate the rush that i always feel: have to go here, have to leave now, now go do this. i am a real laid back kinda person and the hectic time really bums me. the last couple of years have been better because we stay at home christmas day. everyone in their jammies all day playing with the things santa left. i need to be better for my kids sake. we spent the whole day today running errands as a family and decorating as a family so maybe a few more days like today and i will be all the way in the mood.
i'll add the pictures in the morning.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
baylee looks at him and asks "who's gonna watch us?"
lee looks at him,
"you have a mother."
lee laughs at me and says i want you to blog that. implying that i am never around the boys. apparently the time from 8 am until he picks them up at 5pm doesn't count as time with the boys. and from 5pm until 9pm when they go to bed is days long. even if i get home at 11pm we are both with them until they go to school. baylee just thought that i had more stuff to do at the store and wasn't going home with them.
so i blogged that. he can't say that i don't tell all the stories.
Monday, November 24, 2008
the best part about most of my photos is that they are not staged. most of them are the boys in the moment. i loved how the light made the perfect shadows on the boys. every child was in their pjs and even some adults. i searched everywhere for these jammies and was super excited when i found them. my favorite photo is this one:
baylee has already started asking the question but when i took this photo the light was right and the magic ticket showed. the tickets are a baby blue very similar to the ones you get at the movie theatre, but because of the magic of santa this one turned green. then we heard it.
just like the movie. you climbed on and found your spot. we were upstairs on top level of the car. i was so impressed with how hard they tried to make you feel like you were in the movie. there was singing, dancing, balls thrown in the air, hot chocolate and cookies. the conductor came by to punch the tickets. they read the story while we went to the north pole. you could walk around and you had to be careful because the train rocked, a lot. then we got to the north pole surprisingly enough it doesn't take long to get from lubbock to the north pole. they did tell us when we got on that it may not look like we are going fast but we were speeding through quickly. santa was waiting on his own train with all the elves jumping up and down. they were so excited to come onto our train. santa came on and talked with every child. he gave every child their own bell. baylee loved it. the bell was his favorite part. tayte didn't want to ride the train, but as soon as he saw santa he changed his mind for a minute (he always needs nudging for everything). payton wasn't sure about santa either. he did take the bell though.
the elves came on with santa and talked to the kids as well. baylee had a long conversation about the wii. according to this elf they spend a lot of time playing wii on the north pole. i always thought they made toys all year but apparently they try the toys out to make sure they work. also santa says he doesn't make the wii's. he has elves that make the electronic gadgets. the elf talked with baylee for quite some time. the other boys weren't quite sure about her either.
lee was not impressed. he wanted more. he has forgotten that you have to view these things through the eyes of a child and not have such high standards. but i am grateful that he went and he didn't complain to much and he even took some photos. he really is a great dad.
on the train ride back to lubbock there was jokes being told, more singing, and more dancing. the elves said there were no parents dancing but i have the pictures to prove that i danced. rachael made fun of me saying that i look 12 so that is why the said none of the parents danced.
i also noticed that santa is either worried about his health or mrs. claus is using fat free ingredients. he has slimmed up some since i last saw him.
i am glad that we went. i am grateful that i have a friend who finds out about these things and spreads the word. i get so much pleasure out of watching the boys during events like this. i hope we can keep this magic for ever. i may have to pull out the ticket picture just to prove the magic behind the whole thing. i would recommend this to anyone with small kids. you may not enjoy it as much as they do, but to see their face when santa walks aboard is all you need.
tickets for a family of 5: $95
dinner for 5: $40
gas to get there: $30
watching your children through this ride: priceless.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
well after payton had a me, tayte saw the affection and care he took to his me and decided he needed a me. so we have larry the cucumber. we have had this stuffed doll for ever and no one really played with it. then tayte took it over and decided it was his me. now him and baylee fight over it all the time. but it goes to tayte because he decided it was his me. that one thing that you cherish and love. now you find larry everywhere you find tayte. and if tayte leaves it in another room payton brings it to him because you always have to have your me.
finally, baylee decided he needed a me. since i am all about them being kids as long as possible and keeping their innocence i let him find one. again another stuffed animal that no one ever played with became something that you have to kiss and hug goodnight as you kiss and hug the children. but, i am sure that baylee would never admit to his friends that he sleeps with a dog.
so we will love these cherished belongings as long as the boys see fit. and then we will pack them up and give them back to them when times get hard. because what sooths us as kids usually can make things a little better as adults.
Friday, November 21, 2008
why does ice cream sound so good when it is cold outside?
why when things are hard do people have to be mean? don't they see that is it hard for lots of people and by being nice you might make someone's day?
why are plaid coat-topped pj sets so hard to find? i seriously checked out 7-10 different places.
why do people feel they are entitled to certain luxuries just because they breathe?
why does that woman walk her bike almost every day? i have seen this lady walk her bike any where from highland park almost to the big texan. why?
why am i still tired after i wake up in the morning?
why do i feel like i haven't done something if i don't post something every day?
these are just some of the things i wonder. if you can answer them feel free, especially the one about the lady walking her bike. or add your own why's.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
also, remember that people lose their kids all the time and find them so the story i am about to tell is not the first nor will it be the last time this story is told. or maybe he ran away. and also remember that i did break a mirror the other day so my 7 years are beginning (maybe the last year can count as time served).
tayte had a couple of friends over to play. they were running in and out of the house so i left the backdoor open. it could do the house some good to get some fresh air in, right? anyway payton went outside, he came in, went back out and so on. he was upstairs in his room pulling every toy out of the crate the last time i saw him. i went about changing sheets, washing sheets, picking up and so on. well it had been a while since i had heard anything from him. he can spend a lot of time in his room so i ran upstairs to check. not in his room.
not in the bathroom (another favorite place because of the water).
not in my room (loves to pull out all my scrapbook stuff).
checked his room again, maybe in the closest, or under the table. nope.
checked in the backyard. yelling his name. nothing.
at this point i am beginning to freak out. he will answer when i yell at him.
go back in the house to see if he is inside, i must have missed him. yell at tayte and caden to help me find him.
surely he didn't get in the front yard. he can't open the front door or the door that leads to the garage-God bless a settling house. i ran in the front yard, yelling his name like a crazy person, and across the street there he was. the lady who lives 4 houses and an empty lot down the street had him.
he had been gone long enough to walk down the street, stand in the ditch crying, her find him, her walk him back down the street checking each house for someone who knew who this kid was. all the people on our block who know us were at work. and usually the boys play in the backyard so the old guy across the street didn't know who he was either. she was about to call the police and the two things that would have brought him back home were: most of the police force know us (no we are not in trouble the police-chief of police lives down the street) and the other thing is the little stinkbug had taken a card baylee had made that had a picture with baylee, tayte and i on it.
that is another reason we love living in a small town. this bad situation could have been worse. much worse. much, much worse. but he is home without anything wrong with him. except maybe his eardrums are sore for me yelling at him that he can't wander off like that. that little stinkbug.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i have not been the only one missing him. each night the boys have talked to him on the phone to tell him goodnight. tonight tayte started crying. it was a long day and to add to it not seeing his daddy was more than he could take. he is used to his daddy picking him up from the store everyday and getting to come home. so since that was not the case he was already in a mood. baylee is older so he understands but, that still doesn't make it any easier. i noticed his voice kinda soften when he told his dad goodnight. he asked if he was coming home tomorrow a couple of times. payton has been non-stop since sunday. he definitely is acting different so i think he misses his daddy as well. he even pointed to the office earlier today and said "daddy."
lee says with his promotion there could be more traveling. we all are ok with a night but, three nights is hard on us all. we only have to make it one more night. we can do it.
Monday, November 17, 2008
*share 7 random/weird facts about yourself.
*tag 7 other people and link to them at the end of your blog.
*let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment.
- i don't eat cheese often. it is the texture thing. gross.
- rachael calls lee's friends and us saved by the bell: the married years because most of us met and dated in high school.
- in high school i once dated 3 guys that were friends and guess still are friends. not at the same time one after the other.
- even though payton will be the death of me i still want a fourth child. as i type this he squirted half the boys toothpaste in the sink.
- i always have a jacket in my car especially in the summer.
- i only wanted to boys and then no more children.
- my best friend growing up was also named tara.
i had to think about some of those.
first thing this morning:
baylee: mom come see what payton did to my bed
me: what did he do?
baylee: just come see.
so i walk into the boys' room. my eyes for some reason where so dry. i opened them and i swear i ripped my eye in half. (this evening as i type this my eye still hurts). i look at baylee's bed and there are circles the size of softballs, purple, orange, yellow and green. some time in the middle of the night payton got up got markers out of the closest and colored his skin and left the lids off and laid them in baylee's bed. luckily he didn't color baylee's skin, because there was no time to take a bath before school. and according to baylee, "luckily i am wearing long sleaves." they both had marker all over their skin.
this was the rest of the day:
- pulling out of the garage (running late because payton wouldn't get in the car) knocked the passenger side mirror and shattered it. $85 to replace.
- get to work have a customer ask: aren't you the only scrapbook store in town? (yes.) oh, i thought you would have had a better selection being the only scrapbook store in town. i found what i wanted at hobby lobby but i didn't want to buy a whole pack. (what i wanted to reply was go buy at hobby lobby i don't want your snootiness buying 2 sheets of paper. instead i just let her look and walked away). the joys of owning your store. (side note: there are a few girls that i met at the store please remember to take everything i say about the store with a grain of salt. i truly love owning the store, just every once in a while as with any job it sucks and i need to vent.)
- for some reason the boys were extra whiney-so they took a nap to save everyone's sanity.
- raced back to panhandle to go to boys scouts.
now it is time to go back to bed. tomorrow can't be any worse- equally as bad just not worse.tara
Sunday, November 16, 2008
my friend tammy started a blog. she follows three blogs: mine, karen russell (scrapbook celeb) and kari's. i know kari so i decided to see what they have been up to since they moved. i was looking at her blog list. there was one that stood out, so i click on it. i thought the name looked familiar and sure enough it was one i had seen before. it is the blog of jen's (my cousin's wife) friend from forever. that is not the only blog they have in common:
the pioneer woman
patiently waiting for heaven
and now my blog.
i had no idea that jen and kari would be linked at all, but to have several blogs that they both are interested in still is crazy to me.
Friday, November 14, 2008
for a kid who took forever to talk he says some of the darnest things. and i mean forever, he was probably pushing 3 before he would really say anything to people other than lee, baylee and i. i always said he hated people and for the most part he did. since he started pre-k he has been a different kid. i am so happy he has found his voice. sometimes, now i wish he would lose it.
other funny things tayte has said:
the applebet (alphabet)
we have a ds, playstation, and gamecube we don't need anything else. oh and lots of toys too.
i have 3 belly buttons. (2 are not really belly buttons-see if you can guesswhat they are.)
mackie is my girlfriend and caden is my boyfriend (lee didn't like this one and the 2 of them argued about it until lee finally gave in)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
which also brings me to another comment. dvr is the blessing/curse i have always wanted/feared. with christmas still 40 something days (thanks jen for the counter) i get this:
MOOOOOOOOMMMMM. come here. (hate that)
i walk in to a paused tv. (wished i had that as a kid)
i want that (hate that) (wished i could have had that as a kid).
it does make getting your kids what they want helpful. i mean after seeing the same thing paused 700 times you are sure to get the right thing. right? happy shopping to all and to all a dvr.
on another note. i did not leave a comment on my own blog. i may be sad and desperate, but not that sad and desperate. i was showing a friend my blog and she commented without changing. not that anyone would care but i just want to make sure i don't seem any more pathetic than i already do. i am a compulsive blogger i do post almost every day, but i do draw the line at commenting on my own blog.
Monday, November 10, 2008
hope you had a great day. mine was.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
when i came home the other day baylee told me he got something he shouldn't have gotten. i was scared to find out what it was. he led me to the kitchen where he handed me a letter. even more nervous i opened it. it was a letter to michael's birthday party. which was today. he was afraid i would be sad if he went somewhere else for my birthday. i lucked out with such a sweet caring kid. so he spent a couple of hours at the birthday party.
we ended the night with family movie night. this is something that we recently started. we all sit down and watch a movie together. i really like it. we are together as a family which is great. i hope this becomes such a family tradition that it stands the test of growing children.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
- i am not a morning person
- you make your life what you want it to be
- i love being a parent
- 30 years was not enough time with my dad
- we still live in a somewhat narrow minded society
- i love scrapbooking for the art, storytelling, and the relationships it brings
- my favorite color is blue-any shade of blue
- i am not very tolerant of stupid people-people who know better but don't do better, not people who don't know any better
- i still get excited about my birthday
- the secret crap everyone is talking about may not be crap after all
- the more money you make the more you spend
- photography is my new hobby
- my favorite food is a burger and fries
- most of the time i would rather stay at home than go out
- if i ever met the person who invented jeans i may kiss them
- i enjoy blogging more that i thought i would
- the blog i love reading the most is my own
- 58 is to young to die
- every person should leave where they were raised for a period of time to continue to grow.
- owning your own business is hard work but rewarding
- my favorite movie is what dreams may come i love the fact that heaven is what you make it
- i love being a wife most
- cash is king, debt is dumb
- have high expectations for those around you so they have more to work for, but don't make them feel bad if they don't meet those expectations
- with 3 boys there is never a dull moment-but i wouldn't change it for anything
- being nice to people makes you feel better
- kids enjoy the everyday little things with you more than the big things
- people never cease to amaze me in the things they do-both good and bad
- you should never stop learning
- nothing beats a nice, hot, long, quiet, uninterrupted bath.
i hope you have learned something new about me. and i hope that i can do this in another 30 years.
Friday, November 7, 2008
one year ago today i saw my dad so sick he decided to go to the hospital after being adament he wasn't going.
one year ago today my dad went into the hospital.
one year ago today started the long days of sitting in hospitals waiting, then working, then sitting in hospitals waiting more, getting home late, sneaking my kids in to see him, listening to him complain about not being with my kids.
one year ago today started the wondering about what would happen.
one year ago today i started telling my dad i love you every day for too short of a time.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
we are lucky that baylee has p.e. right when tayte gets out of school. we are lucky that we live in a small town where it is ok for the boys to stop and talk to each other at school. so each day all three boys get to see each other for a minute. that is baylee in the middle. baylee is a great big brother. he is kind, caring, and worries about the happiness of his brothers. he is getting to the age when it is not cool to hug your brother in public. but baylee will even kiss each boy before he goes back inside. he is a great role model for his younger brothers. i have tried hard to teach him that no matter what he does they are watching him. they learn from him. i see tayte treat payton the same way that baylee treats the boys. i know that is a lot to put on a kid but he does a fabulous job.
payton anxiously waits for tayte and baylee. he really looks up to his older brothers. he misses them while they are in school. he wants to go to school so badly already. i think it is because he wants to be where the boys are.
when we are at home he refuses to get ready until i tell him we have to get tayte. then there is no stopping him. at school he runs around inside and out looking for tayte. as soon as he sees the kids coming he runs through the crowd until he finds his brother. each day they run towards each other give each other a hug before i get a hug. you can tell they really miss each other. it is like they haven't seen each other in days. but it is only 3 hours.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
when tayte got out of pre-k i asked him how school was.
i asked if he cried.
"yes because i was looking for you and you weren't there."
if he asked for the moon today i would find a way to give it to him. i feel horrible. how do you make it up to a 4 year old kid who realized you weren't there? i try to always be there and i wasn't. today i was not my best mom, but tomorrow i will try to be better. today we went to nick and codums (toot n totums). so to my 4 year old all is right in the world.
baylee didn't take the news about the election results that well. we will have a talk this evening so hopefully he will feel better about it.
another change: lee got a promotion but it wasn't going to be in effect until the start of the year. well that changed. it started now and there will be lots of change for us. some good and some not so good. but i am super happy for lee. he works so hard and deserves every promotion he gets. he may be the big-shot company man he wants to be someday.
lots of changes. its a good thing the boys adjust well to change. some better than the others but we will make it. here is to a fun ride.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
i voted. and may the best man/men/woman win(this is in no particular order).
last night i had an interesting conversation with baylee. apparently they have been discussing the election at school and it was amazing to hear him talk about it. this was also the first time i realized how much they get from others at school. lee and i have not really said anything to him about the candidates or the election but he knew an awful lot about it.
he had made other comments about the election. once i asked him why he was voting for mccain and he said "let me tell you why i am not voting for obama. he is not a republican (forgot democrat)." that was about all he said that conversation. i have a little republican on my hands.
baylee: have you decided who you are going to vote for?
me: i don't know (but i really did know at this point). how about you?
baylee: i am voting for mccain.
me: really, why?
baylee: because he is a republican (i know i have never said those words to him-don't read that as i am a democrat though), he is a prisoner of war, he was in a war. he will get us out of the mess we are in (i know that lee told him that).
Monday, November 3, 2008
there was lots of fun at our house tonight. lee will take the boys and toss them onto the couch. from there it goes to jumping on the couch.
which leads to jumping from the stairs. there is lots of laughing and a few bumps and bruises, but all in all there is fun memories made. all three boys fight over who gets to be thrown next. i am really impressed with how well the boys take turns. lee keeps going until he wears himself out. i think that he thinks that is his way of working out. if only it were that easy.
i got to use my new camera. i love it. now only if i had my new lens. really i can save up for it before christmas. the funny thing is this camera was less than the original one i bought. but i guess there is a newer one yet and that is why the new one i got was less.
here is to lots more days of raining boys. you are only young once so you might as well make the most of it.
this is also another reason why we don't have nice furniture. why would we? then there goes all the fun.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
tayte and mattie are playing video games. it is funny to watch them play because mattie gets to a part that she can't do and gives it to tayte to do. tayte is 2 years younger, but he probably is a better player than most. which is sad. i know not the best parenting.
payton is into everything like usual.
baylee is going to his first hockey game. is was super excited when he left the house. colton's birthday was last month, but he wanted to go the hockey game so they went. baylee kept watching the clock to see when they were coming. i hope the event exceeds his expectations. i am happy for him but i hate missing his firsts. even at 7. i want to be there when he does anything new. still.
other than that i had a great day. things at the store went great which was fabulous. recessions suck. it is hard to have a small store when things are slowing down. but if i can weather this i can weather anything.