reconciliation

baylee had his first reconciliation today. he is getting ready for his first communion. i was telling someone the other day he was doing this and they asked what does a 7 year old have to confess. well baylee and i were talking about it last night and he found 3 things that he needed to confess. he was in and out quickly so he must have only talked about the three things we discussed. i will leave those up to him to tell. he looked so handsome today. he loves to dress up and look like lee. here he is doing his penance.

father john said he did a great job. he was a little nervous and was thumbing through the book he took in for help, but did a fabulous job. i am grateful for father john. he is extremely patient and sometimes i know i need that.

tara

the christmas season is here

baylee has been begging for us to put up our tree. i am a firm believer in not putting your tree up until after thanksgiving. so today we decorated our house. we have our traditions we turn the tv to christmas music. lee hauls everything in, it's cold outside. lee puts our fake tree together and wraps lights around it. i take the pictures. this year lee decided to wrap lights up the center before putting all the branches on. i do think that made a big difference.

baylee helped lee this year walk around the tree holding the strand of lights. he loves to help put the branches on as well. the other boys found anything they could do but be in the living room, which is hard because there are no video games until after the tree is complete. after the lights and branches are on everyone helps put on the ornaments. i really like to have a tree that you can tell kids decorated, which translates into all the ornaments are grouped together.

baylee putting the angel on the tree.

this year payton fell asleep during the assembly of the tree so he put his ornaments on later. he was imitating the grinch during this time, i got him to put on three ornaments and that was all. the few pictures of me during were taken by baylee. he wants me to be in the pictures as well. i always give him the same speech before i hand my camera over. but i am really impressed with how well he can take a picture. he took 4 to get this one with me only changing one setting. he is not too shabby.

i really needed this day to put me in the spirit. i really dislike the holidays, even more after my dad died. i hate the rush that i always feel: have to go here, have to leave now, now go do this. i am a real laid back kinda person and the hectic time really bums me. the last couple of years have been better because we stay at home christmas day. everyone in their jammies all day playing with the things santa left. i need to be better for my kids sake. we spent the whole day today running errands as a family and decorating as a family so maybe a few more days like today and i will be all the way in the mood.

i'll add the pictures in the morning.

tara

it's not even thanksgiving yet...

it drives me absolutely bananas. people already have their christmas lights up and ON. i completely understand putting you lights up when the weather is nice.

in fact lee and baylee did that last weekend. don't worry we only left baylee up there for the afternoon and then went back after him. he didn't yell too much.

but come on. let thanksgiving be over before you turn them on. why don't you just leave them on all year round? it seems each year it gets earlier and earlier that stores put christmas stuff out to sell and people start decorating earlier and earlier. enjoy the holiday that is here and quit hoping for the next one.

not really. we didn't even leave the yard the whole time he was on the roof.

i remember putting the christmas lights up with my dad. he would put me on his shoulders and we would walk along the house sticking the lights up there. i remember being really scared and thinking that he was going to drop me. but he never did. he may have moved a little too quickly for my liking but he never let me fall. i hope baylee has those same memories some day.

sorry for the rant.

tara

dinner tonight

we went to eat dinner at logan's. while we were there lee gets a call from a friend saying they are playing cards. lee tells him he'll be there and hangs up.

baylee looks at him and asks "who's gonna watch us?"
lee looks at him,
"you have a mother."
"oh."

lee laughs at me and says i want you to blog that. implying that i am never around the boys. apparently the time from 8 am until he picks them up at 5pm doesn't count as time with the boys. and from 5pm until 9pm when they go to bed is days long. even if i get home at 11pm we are both with them until they go to school. baylee just thought that i had more stuff to do at the store and wasn't going home with them.

so i blogged that. he can't say that i don't tell all the stories.

tara

the polar express

we left panhandle early enough to do a little shopping before we went to lubbock. the boys got kung fu panda to watch on the way there. i am thankful for dvd players in cars. the ride there was great. we ended up in lubbock about the time the movie ended. we met daniel's family at fuddruckers and had dinner before we went to the train depot. when we got there a long line had already formed, but i thought it was great. we were almost to the end so we didn't have to feel like we were in a rush to get on the train we could take our time, perfect for picture taking. as we were standing waiting i got some great shots of the boys looking at the train.
the best part about most of my photos is that they are not staged. most of them are the boys in the moment. i loved how the light made the perfect shadows on the boys. every child was in their pjs and even some adults. i searched everywhere for these jammies and was super excited when i found them. my favorite photo is this one:

baylee has already started asking the question but when i took this photo the light was right and the magic ticket showed. the tickets are a baby blue very similar to the ones you get at the movie theatre, but because of the magic of santa this one turned green. then we heard it.


"all aboard"




just like the movie. you climbed on and found your spot. we were upstairs on top level of the car. i was so impressed with how hard they tried to make you feel like you were in the movie. there was singing, dancing, balls thrown in the air, hot chocolate and cookies. the conductor came by to punch the tickets. they read the story while we went to the north pole. you could walk around and you had to be careful because the train rocked, a lot. then we got to the north pole surprisingly enough it doesn't take long to get from lubbock to the north pole. they did tell us when we got on that it may not look like we are going fast but we were speeding through quickly. santa was waiting on his own train with all the elves jumping up and down. they were so excited to come onto our train. santa came on and talked with every child. he gave every child their own bell. baylee loved it. the bell was his favorite part. tayte didn't want to ride the train, but as soon as he saw santa he changed his mind for a minute (he always needs nudging for everything). payton wasn't sure about santa either. he did take the bell though.


the elves came on with santa and talked to the kids as well. baylee had a long conversation about the wii. according to this elf they spend a lot of time playing wii on the north pole. i always thought they made toys all year but apparently they try the toys out to make sure they work. also santa says he doesn't make the wii's. he has elves that make the electronic gadgets. the elf talked with baylee for quite some time. the other boys weren't quite sure about her either.


lee was not impressed. he wanted more. he has forgotten that you have to view these things through the eyes of a child and not have such high standards. but i am grateful that he went and he didn't complain to much and he even took some photos. he really is a great dad.


on the train ride back to lubbock there was jokes being told, more singing, and more dancing. the elves said there were no parents dancing but i have the pictures to prove that i danced. rachael made fun of me saying that i look 12 so that is why the said none of the parents danced.


i also noticed that santa is either worried about his health or mrs. claus is using fat free ingredients. he has slimmed up some since i last saw him.


i am glad that we went. i am grateful that i have a friend who finds out about these things and spreads the word. i get so much pleasure out of watching the boys during events like this. i hope we can keep this magic for ever. i may have to pull out the ticket picture just to prove the magic behind the whole thing. i would recommend this to anyone with small kids. you may not enjoy it as much as they do, but to see their face when santa walks aboard is all you need.



tickets for a family of 5: $95
dinner for 5: $40
gas to get there: $30
watching your children through this ride: priceless.


tara

boy scouts

monday was boy scouts. you have to start out with the pledge of allegiance and prayer. you also have to do the boy scout salute. this is payton's interpretation.

it was awards day for various things. badges were given to the scouts who move up. those who earned different belt loops at camp. there were prizes and badges for popcorn sales. baylee sold over $600 dollars in popcorn. way to go. you got to choose from several different prizes and this is what baylee wanted. he got a telescope and microscope. every day for the longest time he asked when his prize would be in. the popcorn came and was delivered, but no prizes. he was super excited about this.

then to finish the night the boys were supposed to bring a collection and talk about it. baylee brought his seashell collection. i was really afraid he was going to pull each shell out and tell where he got it. i think he made it through around 10 before i could catch his eye and tell him that was enough.

it was a good meeting.

side note: baylee has really become interested in reading my blog while i type it. really annoying especially when your 7 year old catches your typos.

tara

my me.

until payton we never had a kid that had to have a specific thing to go to sleep. baylee loved his elephants but never had to have a specific one, as long as we grabbed one when we headed out the door that was fine. tayte is so easy going that nothing really phases him, so he didn't need anything. then came payton. somehow this blanket became his "me." not quite sure how it came to be this blanket or even why it is called a me, but everyone knows what to look for or grab when we talk about payton's me. he has always been a blanket over the face kind of kid. it use to freak women out at the store that i would lay him in the floor and as soon as i put his blanket over his face he would quit crying. now i didn't leave it there for hours, but if you pulled it off he would fight to get it back on. so he has a me. and he sleeps with it every night. when he wanders from bed to bed he brings his me. the other night he came crying into our room saying his me was stuck. i went into the room to see and when he pointed to where it was i could quit laughing. lee and i had been fighting him all night to get in his bed and stay in his bed. so he climbed into bed with baylee and baylee rolled over onto payton's me. it was stuck and payton couldn't get it. you can see the love this blanket has been given. thankfully that is the only tear we have and this blanket lasts until payton is ready to give it up.

well after payton had a me, tayte saw the affection and care he took to his me and decided he needed a me. so we have larry the cucumber. we have had this stuffed doll for ever and no one really played with it. then tayte took it over and decided it was his me. now him and baylee fight over it all the time. but it goes to tayte because he decided it was his me. that one thing that you cherish and love. now you find larry everywhere you find tayte. and if tayte leaves it in another room payton brings it to him because you always have to have your me.

finally, baylee decided he needed a me. since i am all about them being kids as long as possible and keeping their innocence i let him find one. again another stuffed animal that no one ever played with became something that you have to kiss and hug goodnight as you kiss and hug the children. but, i am sure that baylee would never admit to his friends that he sleeps with a dog.
so we will love these cherished belongings as long as the boys see fit. and then we will pack them up and give them back to them when times get hard. because what sooths us as kids usually can make things a little better as adults.

tara

why's

i am reverting back to a 2 year old:

why does ice cream sound so good when it is cold outside?
why when things are hard do people have to be mean? don't they see that is it hard for lots of people and by being nice you might make someone's day?
why are plaid coat-topped pj sets so hard to find? i seriously checked out 7-10 different places.
why do people feel they are entitled to certain luxuries just because they breathe?
why does that woman walk her bike almost every day? i have seen this lady walk her bike any where from highland park almost to the big texan. why?
why am i still tired after i wake up in the morning?
why do i feel like i haven't done something if i don't post something every day?

these are just some of the things i wonder. if you can answer them feel free, especially the one about the lady walking her bike. or add your own why's.

tara

i lost my child today

don't freak out he is here beside me now, but...

also, remember that people lose their kids all the time and find them so the story i am about to tell is not the first nor will it be the last time this story is told. or maybe he ran away. and also remember that i did break a mirror the other day so my 7 years are beginning (maybe the last year can count as time served).

tayte had a couple of friends over to play. they were running in and out of the house so i left the backdoor open. it could do the house some good to get some fresh air in, right? anyway payton went outside, he came in, went back out and so on. he was upstairs in his room pulling every toy out of the crate the last time i saw him. i went about changing sheets, washing sheets, picking up and so on. well it had been a while since i had heard anything from him. he can spend a lot of time in his room so i ran upstairs to check. not in his room.

not in the bathroom (another favorite place because of the water).

not in my room (loves to pull out all my scrapbook stuff).

checked his room again, maybe in the closest, or under the table. nope.

checked in the backyard. yelling his name. nothing.

at this point i am beginning to freak out. he will answer when i yell at him.

go back in the house to see if he is inside, i must have missed him. yell at tayte and caden to help me find him.

surely he didn't get in the front yard. he can't open the front door or the door that leads to the garage-God bless a settling house. i ran in the front yard, yelling his name like a crazy person, and across the street there he was. the lady who lives 4 houses and an empty lot down the street had him.

he had been gone long enough to walk down the street, stand in the ditch crying, her find him, her walk him back down the street checking each house for someone who knew who this kid was. all the people on our block who know us were at work. and usually the boys play in the backyard so the old guy across the street didn't know who he was either. she was about to call the police and the two things that would have brought him back home were: most of the police force know us (no we are not in trouble the police-chief of police lives down the street) and the other thing is the little stinkbug had taken a card baylee had made that had a picture with baylee, tayte and i on it.

that is another reason we love living in a small town. this bad situation could have been worse. much worse. much, much worse. but he is home without anything wrong with him. except maybe his eardrums are sore for me yelling at him that he can't wander off like that. that little stinkbug.

tara

missing lee

lee had to go to san antonio for work. he left sunday and won't be back until tomorrow. we really make a good team and divide the parenting tasks equally (or pretty much equally). so to go 3 days without him has been hard. i have felt like a single mom and not so much a fan of it. don't think i will be doing it anytime soon. there are tons of other reasons i will be staying with lee but, that is for another post. i've not really enjoyed getting into bed by myself. the upside though is that i could lay in bed and watch tv until i wanted to stop. i like the feeling of knowing that lee (even though very ocd) locks every door.

i have not been the only one missing him. each night the boys have talked to him on the phone to tell him goodnight. tonight tayte started crying. it was a long day and to add to it not seeing his daddy was more than he could take. he is used to his daddy picking him up from the store everyday and getting to come home. so since that was not the case he was already in a mood. baylee is older so he understands but, that still doesn't make it any easier. i noticed his voice kinda soften when he told his dad goodnight. he asked if he was coming home tomorrow a couple of times. payton has been non-stop since sunday. he definitely is acting different so i think he misses his daddy as well. he even pointed to the office earlier today and said "daddy."

lee says with his promotion there could be more traveling. we all are ok with a night but, three nights is hard on us all. we only have to make it one more night. we can do it.

tara

i've been tagged

ok tag, and i'm it! my friend tammy tagged me and mentioned that this was a good way for jump starting your blog when you seem to be in a blogging rut. link the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

*share 7 random/weird facts about yourself.
*tag 7 other people and link to them at the end of your blog.
*let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment.

1. i don't eat cheese often. it is the texture thing. gross.
2. rachael calls lee's friends and us saved by the bell: the married years because most of us met and dated in high school.
3. in high school i once dated 3 guys that were friends and guess still are friends. not at the same time one after the other.
4. even though payton will be the death of me i still want a fourth child. as i type this he squirted half the boys toothpaste in the sink.
5. i always have a jacket in my car especially in the summer.
6. i only wanted to boys and then no more children.
7. my best friend growing up was also named tara.

now i tag 7 people. some of these people may not even know i blog yet. hehe. they are rebecca, jen, cassie, brenda, and brandi sorry that's all i got.

i had to think about some of those.

tara

shouldn't have gotten out of bed

do you ever have those days when you know you should just climb into bed and pull the covers over your head? that day was today. this is how my day went:
first thing this morning:

baylee: mom come see what payton did to my bed
me: what did he do?
baylee: just come see.

so i walk into the boys' room. my eyes for some reason where so dry. i opened them and i swear i ripped my eye in half. (this evening as i type this my eye still hurts). i look at baylee's bed and there are circles the size of softballs, purple, orange, yellow and green. some time in the middle of the night payton got up got markers out of the closest and colored his skin and left the lids off and laid them in baylee's bed. luckily he didn't color baylee's skin, because there was no time to take a bath before school. and according to baylee, "luckily i am wearing long sleaves." they both had marker all over their skin.

this was the rest of the day:

• pulling out of the garage (running late because payton wouldn't get in the car) knocked the passenger side mirror and shattered it. $85 to replace.
• get to work have a customer ask: aren't you the only scrapbook store in town? (yes.) oh, i thought you would have had a better selection being the only scrapbook store in town. i found what i wanted at hobby lobby but i didn't want to buy a whole pack. (what i wanted to reply was go buy at hobby lobby i don't want your snootiness buying 2 sheets of paper. instead i just let her look and walked away). the joys of owning your store. (side note: there are a few girls that i met at the store please remember to take everything i say about the store with a grain of salt. i truly love owning the store, just every once in a while as with any job it sucks and i need to vent.)
• for some reason the boys were extra whiney-so they took a nap to save everyone's sanity.
• raced back to panhandle to go to boys scouts.

now it is time to go back to bed. tomorrow can't be any worse- equally as bad just not worse.

tara

it's a small blogosphere after all

ok. my first weird blog connection.

my friend tammy started a blog. she follows three blogs: mine, karen russell (scrapbook celeb) and kari's. i know kari so i decided to see what they have been up to since they moved. i was looking at her blog list. there was one that stood out, so i click on it. i thought the name looked familiar and sure enough it was one i had seen before. it is the blog of jen's (my cousin's wife) friend from forever. that is not the only blog they have in common:
the pioneer woman
patiently waiting for heaven
and now my blog.

i had no idea that jen and kari would be linked at all, but to have several blogs that they both are interested in still is crazy to me.

crazy.

crazy.

tara

bowl-a-rama

what was i thinking?

kelley's girlfriend's son, jayden, had a birthday party at western bowl. we have never taken the boys bowling, but i decided to take them. it wouldn't have been a big deal except lee is out of town until wednesday. so i, the single mom of 4 days, decided to go to this party. i am really glad we went the boys had a blast and i got some great pictures. the poor lady who's son played with us. the boys weren't bad. they just were going 90 mph the entire time. i never sat down. it worked out really well that all of our kids were together. mackie, caden, tayte, and wyatt were on one lane. baylee, payton, will (poor lady's son), and leah were on the other lane. so we were on the end together. away from the majority of the people. the boys had a blast. for the most part. i had a 3:1- kid:adult ratio. so i really messed up the odds. everyone one else had a better ratio so when they could they did help out. this is what happens when 7 kids bowl with 4 adults supervising. at least to my kids.

payton wouldn't quit pushing the balls trying to get them in the hole they come out of.

tayte hurt his hand within the first 5 minutes of us being down by the lanes.

baylee was my lifesaver. if it wasn't for him i wouldn't have gotten to take any pictures. he kept helping payton get his ball up on the rack so he could push it down. he is growing up too fast. i did tell all the boys before we left the car to stay with me, but that was all. baylee saw that i could use some help and without me asking really showed what a great big brother he can be.

around frame 8 payton had a meltdown and was done.

tayte hated bowling, then he liked it, then he hated it again. at least thats what he said in the car.

baylee wanted to keep playing after our game so he became everyone. at least until we went to play video games.

baylee and caden each had a strike. payton, mackie, caden, and wyatt each had a spare. pretty impressive since they are all under the age of 4 except baylee. caden won by a lot, then wyatt, mackie and finally tayte. for the other lane i think baylee won, then will, leah and payton (not sure on this one because i didn't get to see the final frame).

all in all we had fun and i will do it again. after a long rest-kinda like childbirth, to forget the pain. and when their daddy can come.

tara

words of wisdom by tayte

he just said "heeeere's johnny." don't ask me where he heard that one.

for a kid who took forever to talk he says some of the darnest things. and i mean forever, he was probably pushing 3 before he would really say anything to people other than lee, baylee and i. i always said he hated people and for the most part he did. since he started pre-k he has been a different kid. i am so happy he has found his voice. sometimes, now i wish he would lose it.

other funny things tayte has said:

the applebet (alphabet)

ba-rote (remote)

we have a ds, playstation, and gamecube we don't need anything else. oh and lots of toys too.

i have 3 belly buttons. (2 are not really belly buttons-see if you can guesswhat they are.)

mackie is my girlfriend and caden is my boyfriend (lee didn't like this one and the 2 of them argued about it until lee finally gave in)

tara

blog gadgets

is there some competition that i was not let in on? is the person with the most gadgets the coolest blogger? every time i check out a new blog or look at a blog i follow there seems to be more. i was reading some blogs the other day and lee walked in. his comment "oooohhh they have music, why don't you have music?" so again i ask was there some challenge that i should be let in on? is more, more? do i need to start gadgetizing my blog?

tara

kids growing up too fast

why do kids have to grow up so fast? baylee and i have had a lot of conversations lately about this. i understand every kid wants to fit in and not be teased, but i am becoming saddened by this. first was the underwear. baylee requested the next time i buy underwear it be plain white. because he went to a slumber party and all the other boys had on white underwear. when did cartoon underwear become uncool at the ripe ol' age of 7? luckily baylee is a thinker and instead of letting everyone see his cartoon undies he slept in his shorts to avoid any teasing. then tomorrow is pajama day and he couldn't wear the pj's he has because they again have cartoons on them. except if they were bumblebee they would be ok. luckily for baylee i was planning on getting all the boys new pj's for the polar express ride. so catastrophe #2 avoided. then this one is partially my fault because i am trying to be thrifty. which is not really my style you did notice a new camera and lens in the last 2 weeks. anyway, baylee told me he was going to ask santa for a wii because we can't afford expensive stuff like that (which is not true). so our biggest present has to come from santa. so we had to have a talk about money and that he doesn't need to worry about what things cost at the ripe ol' age of 7. next he is going to worry about paying bills. where does the innocence of children go? and why so fast? kids his age are already beginning to doubt santa. no cartoon undies-that is a national crisis. if any of you have any wisdom on the matter send it my way.

tara

polar express

in case you didn't know. the polar express is coming to lubbock. it is a train ride where they read the story to you while you drink hot chocolate and eat cookies. then when you reach the north pole santa boards and gives each child their own reindeer bell. we are going to take the boys and i am super excited. i haven't told them yet because i can't handle the pestering about when we will go. we go in 2 weeks. i can't wait.

which also brings me to another comment. dvr is the blessing/curse i have always wanted/feared. with christmas still 40 something days (thanks jen for the counter) i get this:

MOOOOOOOOMMMMM. come here. (hate that)
i walk in to a paused tv. (wished i had that as a kid)
i want that (hate that) (wished i could have had that as a kid).

it does make getting your kids what they want helpful. i mean after seeing the same thing paused 700 times you are sure to get the right thing. right? happy shopping to all and to all a dvr.

tara

the post(wo)man made my day

i know things should not make your day but today it did. i got my lens and i have been camera happy all day. here are a few of my favs from the day. i love my new lens. there is a lot to get used to. first it is a fixed lens which means i become the zoom. and that takes getting used to. plus those darn kids don't stay still while you are trying to be creative in your photos. so that takes getting used to. but i am sooooo... glad i chose to get the cheaper lens and save for the other instead of just waiting. more cool photos to come.


















on another note. i did not leave a comment on my own blog. i may be sad and desperate, but not that sad and desperate. i was showing a friend my blog and she commented without changing. not that anyone would care but i just want to make sure i don't seem any more pathetic than i already do. i am a compulsive blogger i do post almost every day, but i do draw the line at commenting on my own blog.

life's simple pleasures

i am addicted to dr. pepper. only i love to get my daily d.p. from certain places. one of my favorites is taylors here in panhandle. they have the best ice. yes, the ice changes the way it tastes. but they have improved. i am sure you are waiting on the edge of your seat to find out how such a wonderful thing could be better. the cup now fits in a cup holder. no more spilling for me when i drive the mitsubishi. i am in heaven.

hope you had a great day. mine was.

tara

luck was on our side

last night was st. francis' steak night and reverse draw. whenever we go to one of these type of events lee is always in the top. right before any money is given his name is drawn. again such is the case except this time he was out quite a bit earlier than usual. anyway, they have a calcutta. everyone's name is written on a board. each board is given a letter. the object of the game is to be the last name drawn, then you win the big money. because that is not enough they auction off each of these lettered boards. now the object is to buy the board your name is on and be the last person drawn. but if you are not the last name drawn you want to own the board of who ever is the last person drawn. then you win some money. so lee and i along with 4 other couples bought a board (technically, i bought in on 2 boards) and our board won. so each couple cleared $300+. yeah us. if i was to choose the board to win it was this one the other board would have only been $100+. so finally luck was on our side.

tara

my birthday

today was my birthday. nothing exciting happened. i got calls from lee's mom, grandma, angie, and scott(2 separate calls), rachael (with all her gang chiming in), and amber. i spent most of the day being a bed potato. it was a hard day. not due to my age, but the time of year. again another first. we are getting closer to when these dang firsts are over. lee even asked me if i was depressed. i know i am not. i heard someone say once that the difference between depression and sadness. is that with depression nothing matters and with sadness everything matters. so i am sad and my sadness gets not so sad every day.

when i came home the other day baylee told me he got something he shouldn't have gotten. i was scared to find out what it was. he led me to the kitchen where he handed me a letter. even more nervous i opened it. it was a letter to michael's birthday party. which was today. he was afraid i would be sad if he went somewhere else for my birthday. i lucked out with such a sweet caring kid. so he spent a couple of hours at the birthday party.

we ended the night with family movie night. this is something that we recently started. we all sit down and watch a movie together. i really like it. we are together as a family which is great. i hope this becomes such a family tradition that it stands the test of growing children.

tara

my first 30 years

tomorrow is my birthday. so in honor of it i will give you thirty things i have learned in my first 30 years. technically (the math person in me) it is my first 31 years tomorrow but i wasn't blogging then. some of these are profound others not so much, so here goes.

1. i am not a morning person
2. you make your life what you want it to be
3. i love being a parent
4. 30 years was not enough time with my dad
5. we still live in a somewhat narrow minded society
6. i love scrapbooking for the art, storytelling, and the relationships it brings
7. my favorite color is blue-any shade of blue
8. i am not very tolerant of stupid people-people who know better but don't do better, not people who don't know any better
9. i still get excited about my birthday
10. the secret crap everyone is talking about may not be crap after all
11. the more money you make the more you spend
12. photography is my new hobby
13. my favorite food is a burger and fries
14. most of the time i would rather stay at home than go out
15. if i ever met the person who invented jeans i may kiss them
16. i enjoy blogging more that i thought i would
17. the blog i love reading the most is my own
18. 58 is to young to die
19. every person should leave where they were raised for a period of time to continue to grow.
20. owning your own business is hard work but rewarding
21. my favorite movie is what dreams may come i love the fact that heaven is what you make it
22. i love being a wife most
23. cash is king, debt is dumb
24. have high expectations for those around you so they have more to work for, but don't make them feel bad if they don't meet those expectations
25. with 3 boys there is never a dull moment-but i wouldn't change it for anything
26. being nice to people makes you feel better
27. kids enjoy the everyday little things with you more than the big things
28. people never cease to amaze me in the things they do-both good and bad
29. you should never stop learning
30. nothing beats a nice, hot, long, quiet, uninterrupted bath.

i hope you have learned something new about me. and i hope that i can do this in another 30 years.

tara

one year ago today...

one year ago today my life forever changed.

one year ago today i saw my dad so sick he decided to go to the hospital after being adament he wasn't going.

one year ago today my dad went into the hospital.

one year ago today started the long days of sitting in hospitals waiting, then working, then sitting in hospitals waiting more, getting home late, sneaking my kids in to see him, listening to him complain about not being with my kids.

one year ago today started the wondering about what would happen.

one year ago today i started telling my dad i love you every day for too short of a time.

tara

brothers gotta love

we are lucky that baylee has p.e. right when tayte gets out of school. we are lucky that we live in a small town where it is ok for the boys to stop and talk to each other at school. so each day all three boys get to see each other for a minute. that is baylee in the middle. baylee is a great big brother. he is kind, caring, and worries about the happiness of his brothers. he is getting to the age when it is not cool to hug your brother in public. but baylee will even kiss each boy before he goes back inside. he is a great role model for his younger brothers. i have tried hard to teach him that no matter what he does they are watching him. they learn from him. i see tayte treat payton the same way that baylee treats the boys. i know that is a lot to put on a kid but he does a fabulous job.

payton anxiously waits for tayte and baylee. he really looks up to his older brothers. he misses them while they are in school. he wants to go to school so badly already. i think it is because he wants to be where the boys are.

when we are at home he refuses to get ready until i tell him we have to get tayte. then there is no stopping him. at school he runs around inside and out looking for tayte. as soon as he sees the kids coming he runs through the crowd until he finds his brother. each day they run towards each other give each other a hug before i get a hug. you can tell they really miss each other. it is like they haven't seen each other in days. but it is only 3 hours.

if nothing else i hope i raise boys who can show their affection for others. i hope they realize how lucky they are to have each other. friends may come and go, but they will be brothers for life. i hope they always treat each other the way they do now. i hope in twenty years i have a picture just like this. maybe minus the "pack pack." every day i am grateful for these boys. so far i think lee and i are doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing.

tara

mmmm... bite....mmmm

the other day when i got home from work payton decided i wasn't big enough to feed myself. so he grabbed my fork and fed me. each time:

mmmmm.

bite.

mmmmm.

bite.

then when i was ready to feed myself he got mad and we played tug-o-war with the fork. i finally won and got to eat. luckily for me my food wasn't too cold.

not the best mom

wellness wednesday. today it did not make me feel well. lee called me and asked if it was wellness wednesday. as soon as he asked my heart sank. i forgot and it was too late to go walk with tayte. lee tried to comfort me and told me tayte probably won't realize i am not there. i got ready and left to walk with baylee. when we got there i was told by several people that tayte was crying, but didn't know why. then one of the teachers told me that he was looking for me. i only thought my heart sank earlier.

when tayte got out of pre-k i asked him how school was.
"fine."
i asked if he cried.
"yes because i was looking for you and you weren't there."

if he asked for the moon today i would find a way to give it to him. i feel horrible. how do you make it up to a 4 year old kid who realized you weren't there? i try to always be there and i wasn't. today i was not my best mom, but tomorrow i will try to be better. today we went to nick and codums (toot n totums). so to my 4 year old all is right in the world.

tara

things change in the blink of an eye

history has been made. the 44th president is a black man. no woman yet, but after yesterday i believe that will happen in my lifetime. i am optimistic enough to believe that maybe this is what our country needs. for a long time our country has been divided. he may be the man to start the change, i know he can't do it all but it takes one man to begin the change. i hope for my kids sake he is that man, that he is the martin luther king jr. of my kids age. being white i have no real understanding of what black people have gone through. i do know that i personally didn't do anything and i want to meet in the middle and try to get past what our ancestors did. i am hoping that this man can help people meet in the middle. i have been listening off and on all day to what people have to say about this moment in history. how emotional people are getting. for a whole culture they can now believe the american dream is possible. they can be president. i am extatic for them. i was watching the view and whoopi made a comment that obama told kids to pull up their pants and that they may actually do it. i hope he can help these kids see the potential they are missing. she also made a comment that although she was born in the us she finally feels as if she can put her suitcase down. she feels like she has become part of the fiber of america. i desparately hope that he can be the change people are wanting. because if he can we will become a better america. and i am all for that.

baylee didn't take the news about the election results that well. we will have a talk this evening so hopefully he will feel better about it.

another change: lee got a promotion but it wasn't going to be in effect until the start of the year. well that changed. it started now and there will be lots of change for us. some good and some not so good. but i am super happy for lee. he works so hard and deserves every promotion he gets. he may be the big-shot company man he wants to be someday.

lots of changes. its a good thing the boys adjust well to change. some better than the others but we will make it. here is to a fun ride.

tara

i voted today

no matter which candidate you are for you will make history. as long as you vote. whether you are voting for someone or against someone you will make history. for the first time in our history there will be either a black president or a female vice president. my vote will help decide which of those two scenarios becomes a reality. this election i have tried much harder to be aware of each candidate's positions on the issues. i went into the voting booth much more knowledgable. is that because i have more to gain/lose, or getting older and need to be more invested. who knows. but....

i voted. and may the best man/men/woman win(this is in no particular order).

last night i had an interesting conversation with baylee. apparently they have been discussing the election at school and it was amazing to hear him talk about it. this was also the first time i realized how much they get from others at school. lee and i have not really said anything to him about the candidates or the election but he knew an awful lot about it.

baylee: have you decided who you are going to vote for?

me: i don't know (but i really did know at this point). how about you?

baylee: i am voting for mccain.

me: really, why?

baylee: because he is a republican (i know i have never said those words to him-don't read that as i am a democrat though), he is a prisoner of war, he was in a war. he will get us out of the mess we are in (i know that lee told him that).

he had made other comments about the election. once i asked him why he was voting for mccain and he said "let me tell you why i am not voting for obama. he is not a republican (forgot democrat)." that was about all he said that conversation. i have a little republican on my hands.

tara

its raining boys at our house

there was lots of fun at our house tonight. lee will take the boys and toss them onto the couch. from there it goes to jumping on the couch.












which leads to jumping from the stairs. there is lots of laughing and a few bumps and bruises, but all in all there is fun memories made. all three boys fight over who gets to be thrown next. i am really impressed with how well the boys take turns. lee keeps going until he wears himself out. i think that he thinks that is his way of working out. if only it were that easy.

i got to use my new camera. i love it. now only if i had my new lens. really i can save up for it before christmas. the funny thing is this camera was less than the original one i bought. but i guess there is a newer one yet and that is why the new one i got was less.

here is to lots more days of raining boys. you are only young once so you might as well make the most of it.

this is also another reason why we don't have nice furniture. why would we? then there goes all the fun.

tara

super excited!!!!!!

i got a new camera yesterday. it is a joint birthday and christmas gift. when i was younger i always hated my birthday being so close to christmas. now i like it. i get good gifts because i combine the two. it does make christmas stink a little, but really i am more excited about the boys than anything else. so back to my camera. it is the canon rebel xsi. i upgraded from the first digital rebel, which i don't think they make anymore. i have already taken 100 pictures since 4pm yesterday. i always said i wouldn't upgrade, but rachael bought my old one so really i made a deal on the new one. two gifts in one: mine and rachael. the only thing that sucked was that only the lenses are compatible so the rest of everything went to rachael to. it was a good day yesterday. now i am saving my money for a new lens 50mm f1.8 and then i will upgrade to this one 50mm f1.4. i am too impatient to save enough for the 1.4 so i will buy one then sell it when i have the second. YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!! can you tell how excited i am.

tara

late for church

we were late for church today. the sad part is that today is daylight savings time. fall back. i woke up and got the boys up. then when i realized what time it really was i thought i could get a little more sleep. i am not a morning person and i always love the chance to get more sleep. so i took the chance and then woke up late. so we were late for church. and i was questioned as to why we were late. which people should know by now that i am going to be late more times than not.

tayte and mattie are playing video games. it is funny to watch them play because mattie gets to a part that she can't do and gives it to tayte to do. tayte is 2 years younger, but he probably is a better player than most. which is sad. i know not the best parenting.

payton is into everything like usual.

baylee is going to his first hockey game. is was super excited when he left the house. colton's birthday was last month, but he wanted to go the hockey game so they went. baylee kept watching the clock to see when they were coming. i hope the event exceeds his expectations. i am happy for him but i hate missing his firsts. even at 7. i want to be there when he does anything new. still.

tara

the horns have fallen

it was a sad night at our house. hook 'em was defeated. lee is super superstitious. he has to make sure all the boys are wearing their texas jerseys or shirts. then at game time he has to be at the loveseat and stay there until the end of the game (except to go outside). i met them at reining's which is where they started the game. i left because really who wants to sit at a house with 2 guys who are way to into the game and a bunch of kids. so i grabbed payton and tayte and we came home. it wasn't thirty minutes later that i heard the garage door open. i knew then that the game was not going well and lee had to get back to his spot. i sat downstairs with him and baylee for a while. then i was ordered. yes ordered to leave the living room. they wear losing and it was my fault because i should not have been there. and in lee's eyes i was enjoying the fact that they were losing. so i went upstairs and made cards. i would hear cheers coming from downstairs and would check out the score. and with 8 seconds to go texas was winning. but in the end tech won.

other than that i had a great day. things at the store went great which was fabulous. recessions suck. it is hard to have a small store when things are slowing down. but if i can weather this i can weather anything.

tara